Friday, June 12, 2009

How does one become truly happy with thier lives?

The following has nothing to do with weight loss, but more about life in general. How does one become truly happy with thier lives? With so many obsticals, the economy,family,etc etc... And what do you do when you are not happy with the way your life has turned out or where you see your future headed. Now I know many will say change it, but is it really as easy as changing it? I don't know if anyone else feels the same way as I do, I love my boyfriend, he is good to me in so many ways but we do not have the life that I want. I want to be married to a man that has a job and a vehicle, money to be able to start a family and financial security. I don't want to be living with my parents and having them support me and my boyfriend, depend on using thier vehicle all the time to do things and have permision to do things. I also want girlfriends that I can hang out with and be able to talk to, go out as couples do, I have never had any of this. I know I cannot change the other person, but by myself I don't have what it takes to be on my own, mentally or financily. I have tried to get a job for several years now and its a fail fail cituation because of my mental state and the way I feel about people and authority. So what am I to do with this life I have and am so unhappy with? I don;t want to loose my boyfriend I do love him and cannot picture my life without him in it, but in some ways I feel like I am setteling. I also don't want to start over, and I feel like really who is going to want to be with someone like me, that is 28 obese, still living with her parents, and has terrible problems and low self esteem? Im not trying to put myself down, I feel I am speaking the truth about myself, I am obese and I do have a ton of problems I wouldnt wish on anyone. But what am I honestly to do with what I have to become happy and Live the life I want to have? Or should I try to learn to be happy with what I have because it isnt so bad? But what about feeling like Im not living the way I should be or serving my purpose here on earth? I want to be married and have a family, Im 28 years old pushing 30 soon and no offense to anyone, but I want to be able to keep up with my children that is if I can even have them... Im tired of living off General assistance and food stamps, Im tired of having bi-polar disorder and having to go through all the BS to get SSI, I have a cort date coming up on the end of the month and I am scared shitless. I have never been to court but once when I was young for not wearing my seetbelt. I am shy and get really freeked out and have anxiety attacks around alot of people and authority. I don't want to live like this, but what am I really to do, I want to change it, but HOW with the way things are? I feel like I have no direction, no drive to better myself and truly be happy...


  1. Bless your heart. I wish I had the magic words to make your life better. I don't. I'm sorry.

    Note to self....if you think you are probably are. Start making small changes that will lead to the life you want. I should be taking my own advice. lol

    Being obese and bi-polar doesn't make you unlovable. I makes you a challenge. Good things are always worth a challenge.

    Cheer never is as bad a we think it is. Count your blessings!

  2. I think so many of us aren't 100% happy and it is hard to change things. I like what FMcBP says, start with changing small things you will find that the larger things will take care of themselves.

    Good luck with the court appearance - see your doc beforehand to put some helpful measures in place if you can.


  3. If you think you are settling - don't! You will regret it if you do, believe me.
    You deserve to live the life you want. But YOU have to do what needs to be done, you can't count on anyone else to do it for you.
    I know the job market is tough, so I can't say it's going to be easy, but once you find a job that pays what you need, then do what you need to do to be happy! It doesn't matter who you're with, where you are or what you do if you are not happy.
    I wish you all the best! This life thing is hard, isn't it?

  4. Before i met my husband who is Schizophrenic he had been living in a group home where he was told he would never be able to live on his own. He's come along way!!
    He had now managed to be on his own (albeit with me) for 17 years. Yes we have our up and downs but it is so worth it.
    I know you will be able to anything you set out to do. It may take a while and it may take baby steps but it will be so worth it!!

  5. Forgot to say i came here from NMirror :)

  6. Geez... you asked the magic question. How to be happy in ones life. There is no real answer to that. i think it's different for every one. But there are steps you can take to finding your own true happiness. And that's despite your loveable challenges. I think of them as loveable... because we're all full of challenges. And that's what makes us so darn cute. :)

    1. I agree with everyone... Don't settle. Settling makes you unhappy. OMG! Does it make you unhappy.
    2. Make a list of what YOU want (don't put anyone else into the equation). What do you want in life. Where do you want to go? Where do you want to be? What makes you happy? What could make you happier. What do you need to keep your conditions in check to help you stay happy? What do you WANT?!!!
    3. Start with 1 goal and figure out what you have to do to reach it. It could be something as simple as Love myself more. So what do you need to do to accomplish that. maybe just do 1 thing that makes you feel awesome about yourself 1-2 times a day. Maybe having your nails painted funky colors makes you feel happy... or maybe singing makes you feel happy. Whatever it is that is takes. Work on it and accomplish it. These goals could take years, months, weeks or days... time doesn't matter. just start working on them. Every month... look at them and start a new step or work towards finishing one. Always look at your goals and wonder... what can I do today to work towards them.. and most importantly... do something about them. Don't just look at them and think... I wish... or some day. be active.
    4. Get rid of negative people in your life. Even if it's your BF, family, whomever. Negative people will bring down your level of happiness.

    And yes, making changes that YOU want is going to lead you closer to happiness. If it's losing weight, but maybe you feel like the BF isn't totally co-operative of you seriously gearing towards it... maybe he hampers (my hubby does sometimes) then tell yourself he can either get on board or risk you walking away when the end game comes. What's he want... a hot girlfriend or a fat one... cause fatty is walking out and aint coming back. he can come with the new you or walk away with fatty. Just start changing things for YOU! Not him, not your family... YOU!

    As for work. I think you are almost in a perfet position to REMAKE your self. What do you DREAM of doing? What do you SEE yourself doing? Once you know that answer... work towards it. Maybe it's owning your own business or whatever. But figure out what you want to do for work... and go for it. Even if it means going back to school... in my opinion you're in the perfect place to get to that dream job. You're already in the place to start fresh and new.

    GO FOR IT GIRL! Find your happiness. I work on it daily. I have problems in my own life which sometimes make me go... crap! And then... i realize... to change my life... I don't want to. But I do have to change ME and the person I am before I can be truly happy in the life I have.

    Hugs to you. I think you'll find the answers within. Write it all down... and think about it. Really think... you have the answers within you.

  7. Lately, I've been thinking the exact same thing. Unhappy with where my life has ended up. Unhappy with the direction it seems to be headed in. Trying to figure out where exactly I want to go, how to get there and trying to figure out what I'm going to have to change or get rid of to make it happen.That is definitely the hardest part. But the good news is, its achievable. You'll get there, it might take some time, but you'll make it.

    Good luck on the journey.