Thursday, June 11, 2009

How does one become truly happy with thier lives?

The following has nothing to do with weight loss, but more about life in general.
How does one become truly happy with thier lives? With so many obsticals, the economy,family,etc etc... And what do you do when you are not happy with the way your life has turned out or where you see your future headed. Now I know many will say change it, but is it really as easy as changing it? I don't know if anyone else feels the same way as I do, I love my boyfriend, he is good to me in so many ways but we do not have the life that I want. I want to be married to a man that has a job and a vehicle, money to be able to start a family and financial security. I don't want to be living with my parents and having them support me and my boyfriend, depend on using thier vehicle all the time to do things and have permision to do things. I also want girlfriends that I can hang out with and be able to talk to, go out as couples do, I have never had any of this. I know I cannot change the other person, but by myself I don't have what it takes to be on my own, mentally or financily. I have tried to get a job for several years now and its a fail fail cituation because of my mental state and the way I feel about people and authority. So what am I to do with this life I have and am so unhappy with? I don;t want to loose my boyfriend I do love him and cannot picture my life without him in it, but in some ways I feel like I am setteling. I also don't want to start over, and I feel like really who is going to want to be with someone like me, that is 28 obese, still living with her parents, and has terrible problems and low self esteem? Im not trying to put myself down, I feel I am speaking the truth about myself, I am obese and I do have a ton of problems I wouldnt wish on anyone. But what am I honestly to do with what I have to become happy and Live the life I want to have? Or should I try to learn to be happy with what I have because it isnt so bad? But what about feeling like Im not living the way I should be or serving my purpose here on earth? I want to be married and have a family, Im 28 years old pushing 30 soon and no offense to anyone, but I want to be able to keep up with my children that is if I can even have them... Im tired of living off General assistance and food stamps, Im tired of having bi-polar disorder and having to go through all the BS to get SSI, I have a cort date coming up on the end of the month and I am scared shitless. I have never been to court but once when I was young for not wearing my seetbelt. I am shy and get really freeked out and have anxiety attacks around alot of people and authority. I don't want to live like this, but what am I really to do, I want to change it, but HOW with the way things are? I feel like I have no direction, no drive to better myself and truly be happy...

1 comment:

  1. How does one become truly happy with thier lives?, I could think on that question a while and on any given day the answer would be probably be completely different!

    And it is easy to SAY change it but its a lot harder to actually DO.