Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Busy busy couple of days ahead

So I am looking at a very full and busy Friday and Saturday this week. Dr apt on Friday in which I am not going to let the Dr brush me off with a 10 min exam this time. I am going to explain to her all that has been going on since I last saw her and have her fill out the Paper work for My SS advocate. Saturday Morning at 12:30am I will be going to a free health thing to get my teeth drilled and my eyes checked, it is first come first serve and I am guessing there will be tons of people there. But I am grateful and thankful for them and those that volunteer their time to help out with this great event. I have food planned out and if I have to I will walk around the parking lot to pass the time as I may be there until 6pm. But it is worth it, otherwise all the work I have had done to get the 20 years worth of calcite deposits and crap off of my teeth would be a waste of time, it will feel awesome to be able to eat on my left side after 10 years of agony. On the food front it has been great I have been taking it slow and introducing foods back into my diet. I am still struggling with the gas and irregularity I get when I eat good, something I will bring up to the doc as well. We have been walking and enjoying the sun and fresh air that i have been looking forward to for a long time. Bring on spring I am so ready for it!!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

on a side note, to my followers

I had no intentions of bailing on you, life just got in the way and I let it get to me and stop posting for some time. I enjoy my readers comments and they do mean allot to me, again I Appologize for leaving without a word. I can't promise that I wont take a break now and then or forget to blog for awhile, but I will make an effort to at least let everyone know of my absense. I may leave but I will always be back as I feel this helps me out tremendously and may even help out others in the process. I love you all in one way or another, you have made my Journey to a better me more tolarable and have been exteremly kind and helpfull. I thank you all for this and it feels good to be back!

Movie night was good :)

We rented a movie last night and got some healthy snacks and just relaxed and enjoyed it. I made Air popped corn with EVOO sprayed and Southwest Chipotle and hot sauce sprinkled on it. We had Some pretzels with homemade Hot honey mustard and I had a rice cake with a little Almond butter and honey over the top. I brewed some green tea and put it over ice it was refreshing. All this as a snack and stayed under my calories! Eating healthy means you can eat more!! The sun is shinning today, I did a little spring cleaning and now I am enjoying a Salad some sushi and then its off for a nice walk to the store and to donate some stuff to goodwill. Have a great day everyone:)

Monday, March 28, 2011

Finally a break in the dreary weather but how long will it last? I am afraid to get my hopes up and start anything new just get disappointed. On another note I have been taking care of myself with showing regularly and taking care of my teeth and my face. it makes me feel so much more feminine and also helps my self esteem which is another thing I am greatly working on as well. I have been logging for 2 days and eating good without feeling hungry or deprived of the soda and sugar laden crap I have been eating. I guess I forgot what it was like to eat good and feel good for it. There is still much to work on but I think I'm making great strides and breakthroughs with my issues. Doing it myself is deff stressful but to me it is better than not doing anything and blaming others when all along it has been my fears of change. I still feel like I don't deserve to be happy or healthy and that is something I am working on mostly because without that I feel like I would never get better or be able to move on. I know in my heart that I am human and a good person, I care way to much and that's one of my problems. But Baby steppes and I feel I will get there this time. I'm going to be 30 and I still feel like I am 16 ooo that's not so good LOL on some levels anyways. I hope everyone enjoys the day and this great weather we are having at the moment!!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Omg, I am back again :)

Wow I have been away for so long that typing here seems so foreign to me. The end of last year was really horrible for me and I feel back into crappy eating and Depression. It was the first Christmas without my Kahlua and it was bad, i didn't even get out of bed and my boyfriend was so frustrated he made things worse by yelling at me and calling me a horrible bitch. Anyways things are slowly getting better and I am not so depressed anymore. I have gained some weight back with clothes on in the am I am at 188 pounds so I am guessing somewhere around 185 or so. Eating has not been all bad, just got back into drinking allot of diet soda and eating tons of chocolate and now coffee ice cream. *sigh* Winter always sucks for me and I cannot wait until the weather starts to get nicer, I am going to go into the rest of the year with my head held high. This is going to be my year after all I think I need it with all that has been going on. I may have made stupid choices that made my life hell but I am learning and I know what I can and cannot change so that I can have the life I want!!