So I have been thinking about it for a couple of days, after reading a few peoples posts, blogs ect... If you are serously concious about everything that you put into your body, and are eating for fuel and nutrition not starving yourself and getting the right amount of calories than can it really be that easy to shed the weight of your past? Im not saying to just eat and not burn any calories, but just being more active in your daily life, parking farther away to walk, using stairs instead of the elevator, doing daily household chores? I mean it seems that it could be that simple, but when I really think about it, if it were that simple than half of america wouldnt be obese! It really is alot to think about tho at least for me, if I stoped drinking alchohol and soda even the one or two i have every month, ate more fruit and veggies rather than snacking on proccessed foods, even if they are low in calories they still have things in them that are not good for your body. I have lost a total of 84 pounds from my highest weight which was about 300 pounds. And I am so proud of myself and what I have acomplished, but lately I feel like i am slipping back into my old ways, i still stay away from the awefull fast food, I drink pleanty of water and i try to eat as clean as i can, but the sweets ( candy, cakes and such) have slowly krept back in and the same with the alcohol. Im not beating myself up by any means nor trying to deprive myself, but I still know better, and I can still enjoy some things once in awhile without feeling guilty. But when i have a drink a two, I tend to crave junk food, if i have a small slice of cake I want more sweets, if I eat 2 pieces of candy I want more. When I think about it, if I reach for the fruit and eat that instead, i dont want those "junk foods". But it is not just the food, it the laziness, Im tired of being so lazy,i tired of making excusses and Im tired of blaming others.
What do you do when you see your partner's lack of motivation, and you start to resent there laziness and lack for life? I'm scared because lately I have not felt so close or loving to my SO, and I dont know if it is truly that I am drifting away from him or falling out of love, or it is because I am tired of watching him do nothing and go nowhere in his life? I know that I am not doing so well with my own life, but at least i am making an effort to get out of the laziness and conviance of a bad lifestyle and try to get myself healthy, that way when I am ready to go at life the way I should I will be more confidant and healthy with the right tools I need to succeed!
I know I am going to be 28 years old, I dont know how to drive, I have no friends, we have no vehicle, no job and we still live with my parents. I still blame them for alot of the way I am because of there mental abuse and there enabeling. I don't know if I should still blame them for it, because I am an adult and I made the choices I did when I was younger and even now that put me where I am today.
I don't know if it is fear of change, fear of failure and ending up back in my old ways or just not knowing where to start or what to do... I mean ive lived one hell of a sheltered life, I dont know really what is out there, Yeah I finished high school and gratuated, tried my hand at Vocational school, and working in a vet hospitol, but the drugs screwed it all up for me. Maybe not so much the drugs, but my choices to do drugs instead of living life the way I should have. Wow that sent a chill down my spine, I never thought about it that wat until it just came to me, that is a huge wake up call!!