Sunday, February 22, 2009

Is it that easy?

So I have been thinking about it for a couple of days, after reading a few peoples posts, blogs ect... If you are serously concious about everything that you put into your body, and are eating for fuel and nutrition not starving yourself and getting the right amount of calories than can it really be that easy to shed the weight of your past? Im not saying to just eat and not burn any calories, but just being more active in your daily life, parking farther away to walk, using stairs instead of the elevator, doing daily household chores? I mean it seems that it could be that simple, but when I really think about it, if it were that simple than half of america wouldnt be obese! It really is alot to think about tho at least for me, if I stoped drinking alchohol and soda even the one or two i have every month, ate more fruit and veggies rather than snacking on proccessed foods, even if they are low in calories they still have things in them that are not good for your body. I have lost a total of 84 pounds from my highest weight which was about 300 pounds. And I am so proud of myself and what I have acomplished, but lately I feel like i am slipping back into my old ways, i still stay away from the awefull fast food, I drink pleanty of water and i try to eat as clean as i can, but the sweets ( candy, cakes and such) have slowly krept back in and the same with the alcohol. Im not beating myself up by any means nor trying to deprive myself, but I still know better, and I can still enjoy some things once in awhile without feeling guilty. But when i have a drink a two, I tend to crave junk food, if i have a small slice of cake I want more sweets, if I eat 2 pieces of candy I want more. When I think about it, if I reach for the fruit and eat that instead, i dont want those "junk foods". But it is not just the food, it the laziness, Im tired of being so lazy,i tired of making excusses and Im tired of blaming others.

What do you do when you see your partner's lack of motivation, and you start to resent there laziness and lack for life? I'm scared because lately I have not felt so close or loving to my SO, and I dont know if it is truly that I am drifting away from him or falling out of love, or it is because I am tired of watching him do nothing and go nowhere in his life? I know that I am not doing so well with my own life, but at least i am making an effort to get out of the laziness and conviance of a bad lifestyle and try to get myself healthy, that way when I am ready to go at life the way I should I will be more confidant and healthy with the right tools I need to succeed!

I know I am going to be 28 years old, I dont know how to drive, I have no friends, we have no vehicle, no job and we still live with my parents. I still blame them for alot of the way I am because of there mental abuse and there enabeling. I don't know if I should still blame them for it, because I am an adult and I made the choices I did when I was younger and even now that put me where I am today.

I don't know if it is fear of change, fear of failure and ending up back in my old ways or just not knowing where to start or what to do... I mean ive lived one hell of a sheltered life, I dont know really what is out there, Yeah I finished high school and gratuated, tried my hand at Vocational school, and working in a vet hospitol, but the drugs screwed it all up for me. Maybe not so much the drugs, but my choices to do drugs instead of living life the way I should have. Wow that sent a chill down my spine, I never thought about it that wat until it just came to me, that is a huge wake up call!!


  1. It sounds like you are thinking hard about what changes need to be made. That's a good first step.

    It is hard losing weight, I think because you DO have to remember and try to move more and eat right, but it isn't really complicated. Like for me, you know it's all in the veggies and the moving. That makes me lose weight. And like you, if I eat junk I want MORE junk, so I have to stay away from the stuff.

    Hang in there :)

  2. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


  3. Is it that easy? Yes. But is it easy? No. And that is why there are so many people out there chasing the dream, running around like chickens with their heads cut off looking for the magic pill.

  4. In the simplest sense, it is easy. Burn more calories than you consume and you will lose weight. What's not easy is making the multitude of correct choices that you have to make along the way. I sure as heck do not have it down pat, but I believe the idea is to make those correct choices habitual, so you are not constantly faced with the stress of a difficult decision.

    I know all about slipping back into the old ways. I've lost and gained hundreds of pounds. 7 years ago,I lost 140 and started gaining it back 2 years ago. I am so mad at myself I could spit some days. But beating myself up isn't going to help me. That's another bad habit that has to be replaced. I'm working hard on changing the self-hate to self-love. It takes a lot of conscious choices.

    I see in your post that you think a lot like me. You are more brave and honest than I am. I wouldn't have been writing publicly at a low point like that.

    Let me just say a couple of things. First, you are overwhelming yourself. You have a long road ahead of you, yes. You have made bad choices and continue to make some, yes. But you can't change it all at once.

    No one in history has ever done anything all at once. Every single person's every single accomplishment has been made a single step at a time.

    I doubt you are sitting there believing that you are the one person who can do it better that every human who has ever lived.

    If you want to create change, go ahead. Take a step. We both know you can do that. If you're feeling brave, take two.

    Good first steps do not sound like this;
    "I will walk 5 miles every day."
    "I will never eat drive-thru food again."
    "I will not think negative thoughts anymore."

    Good first steps sound like this;
    "Today, I will walk around the block."
    "I'll wash, cut and bag portions of something healthy to snack on today."
    "I love myself and I am worth it right now."

    As far as the parents go, work on forgiving and moving on. They may have helped create a situation, but chances are they did their best with what they had, and everything has been on you for many, many years now. That's a good thing, babe. It's all you. I agree you need to get out from under their roof, but that's not your goal today. Today, deal with what you can change today and that's it.

    As far as the boyfriend is concerned, hmmm. I'm not sure how to say this in a way you can understand. You may need to learn this one the hard way, like I did, but here goes. The only person you can change is yourself. No matter what you do, your whole life long, you'll never be able to change any other person in any way, EVER. Never-ever, so don't try.

    It's hard enough to change yourself. Live your best life, and pray that he is inspired by the change he sees in you.

    If you change so much that the two of you become incompatible, You'll deal with it then and you'll move on and you'll be thankful for it. Meantime, share the love you have for him. Don't let him derail you. Don't expect him to save you either, because he couldn't if he tried.

    Unless your boyfriend happens to be Jesus Christ, you're gonna have to save yourself.

    I'm talking real straight to you for some reason. I wouldn't normally do this in a blog comment. I just feel compelled to tell you these things. There is hope. You can do it. It is that simple.

    Have a great day.

  5. you sound like me.. im the same under my parent roof.. not knowning how to drive..and starting this weight loss journey.. minus the boyfriend.. after two years together i actually fell out of love with him! walkin away from him was the first now working on me!! what i need to do and change..