Monday, September 14, 2009

I must have ate a Million calories this weekend... whole cakes, bags of cookies,etc,etc BINGE CITY!!!

Wow have I been so depressed, I have had so many emotions running through me since thursday. I was a bad girl and I mean BAD, Bags of cookies for breakfast, Entire jars of Been & cheese dip, 3 bags of chips, Whole cakes, Pints of Ice cream, Candy bar after candy bar and thats just 2 days... And you know something, Food used to make me feel better, it used to fill the void of being friendless and lonely. Not anymore it didnt do a damn thing but make me feel Guilty and fat and more useless and depressed then I was before i ate it all. I weighed 190 pounds on Friday, I havnt logged my weight or food (my site has been acting too retarted since thursday so I havnt wanted to deal with it). I spun out of control and was so afraid I wouldn't come back. I guees it has to do with the changing of the season, the weather and being bored and lonely. I am back on track tho, We went to Deny's for Breakfast yesterday and I had, egg whites, fruit, wheat pancakes, 2 slices of bacon and 1 chicken susage patty. It was yummy and I was proud of myself for ordering wisley, I did drink like 8 glasses of water i never noticed how salty deny's was WHEW WEE it was terrible. I weighed myself this morning just to see where I was and it said 184.5 so I am more or less where I started on thursday before my depressive binge. I think I ate enough calories on friday and saturday to last me 2 weeks, the whole cake alone and the bags of cookies. I never want to do that again, I am feeling a little better, but I am still depressed and feeling lonely and bored.

6 comments:

  1. I'm a whole-cake-eating type binger too. I haven't done it in a while, but honestly...I still live in fear. The best we can do is our best, right? Just don't eat a cake today and you're fine.

    Good that you thought about it and posted about it too.

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  2. I am also an emotional eater...Whatever emotion, I have a food for it. I completely get you. I hope you feel better soon.

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  3. Oh Becca, it is that season. I feel you. I have had similar impulses too, but you are not bad or being bad...it's just one little week, in the scheme of life this is nothing. You have all the tools at your finger tips and you have already come so far. Glad to hear you bounced back and got centered. This is the most important thing! Have a great night and keep your head up. :o)

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  4. We all fall off the wagon! Try not to feel gulity (easier said than done I kjnow) but put it behind you and move on to tomorrow. (((HUGS)))

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  5. I looked through your earlier pictures. What amazing progress you've made! Focus on that and don't beat yourself up for the slip.

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