Friday, February 12, 2010

I lost my best friend and now I am lost in life...

Ive been so lost these last few weeks, as I have written before my dog Kahlua had fallen ill. Saturday the 6Th of February I had to make that dreadful decision to put my dog down. It has been so very hard to live without her as she was my one and only true best friend. I don't Deny any ones bond with there animal but mine with Kahlua has been special and was oh so different. I brought her home when she was only 5 weeks, i saved her from getting put down as a pup. We were not going to keep her, but we ended up and I believe that it was meant to be. She saved my life back when I was younger and tried to kill myself, and though I was so screwed up on drugs and whatnot I made it all up to her these last 6 years. She lived a good life, she was more spoiled than any dog or human for that matter and we were so close the last one and a half years of her life. I miss her dearly and I still have trouble with every day things because she was here and a part of me for 9 years. I have gained 10 pounds and I know that I am dealing with allot I cannot seem to really do much. Too many things remind me of her, especially walking and working out because she was always with me. My parents are struggling really bad right now and we may be homeless as they somehow owe 39 thousand dollars in taxes because there house foreclosed last year and they owed 290 thousand and it was barely worth 70... Things are not going well between me and my boyfriend right now, He is having a hard time dealing with the fact that I am lost and so emotional after loosing my best friend. I also think it is because he knows that him or anyone else will never mean as much to me as Kahlua did, but that doesn't give him the right to be mean to me and act like a Jerk. Sometimes I think that he doesn't even care about me and it sucks. Since he has quit smoking all he does is eat, and it sucks because he has gained allot of weight and is eating really crappy and not doing much else but sitting in front of his computer all day and snacking. That is how I ended up gaining so much weight and ended up at 300 pounds. I don't want that to happen again, but how can I deal with all this shit at once and not find comfort in food. I mean I lost my only best friend, I have no one to talk to, because as I have found out I have no real true friends, not one person has been there for me while going thru all this, aside from my Bf and my Online friends over at FB, and that is really sad...


  1. So sorry to read about your loss. Unfortunately, we have lost many of our own furry friends as well, so I understand your pain. They were more than just pets, they were family, and losing family is always hard. I hope your fond memories and love of your best friend helps you through this.

  2. Im so sorry Becca :( I still miss our dog that we had for 14 years and have not replaced her yet cuz she was SO great. She listened to me like no human in my life! I understand totally how you are feeling. :( HUGS!!! Hang in there!! xoxo

  3. Sorry Becca. You are going through such a rough time right now. You and your family are in my prayers!