Thursday, January 28, 2010

I have had enough already, cannot catch a break. My heart is breaking :(

So as if I don't already have enough on my plate, something else gets thrown at me. So far 2010 has sucked royal balls. I;m so devastated right now that I'm wondering around aimlessly trying not to think the worst, tho for me that is very hard. We had to my Dog Kahlua back to vet because she was getting worse with her coughing and was showing other symptoms that concerned us. We had an X-ray of her chest done yesterday, the Dr said it looked like she was developing Bronchitis, and that maybe the original Diagnoses wasn't Kennel cough at all. The price of the x-ray included the findings from a radiologist. The vet called us this morning with some not so great news, she said the radiologist found some things that he was concerned about, either she has a very bad case of bronchitis or she has cancer that formed elsewhere in her body and has spread to the lungs. She suggested to run some blood tests more x-rays and Ultrasounds. I Love my dog very much, but right now we cannot afford that, and with that she said even if we did find anything, usually when it is found in the lungs it is to late and the prognoses isn't good. Basically she said we should put her down. Now I don't want my dog to suffer, and as of right now other then the coughing and wanting to sleep allot, she doesn't appear to be stressed, she eats and drinks and loves attention and her snacks. We are going to continue with the Antibiotics and Pray for the best, if it clears up and she gets better (which I want more than anything) then it was just a bad case of Bronchitis, but if not then it is my worst fear. I know that she has lead a great life she is 9 years old, she is spoiled and well loved and taken care of. I saved her from getting put down when she was 5 weeks old and we have loved her well and will continue to love her. I'm so torn up right now and dealing with my emotions are hard for me, before I would turn to Drugs or Alcohol and that is not an option for me, but I want to eat and eat and eat to stuff my feelings and emotions down. Scary that I know the drugs and drinking will only mask the pain, and will only be more detrimental in the long run, and I know eating will do the same, and so far I have been OK, but I don't know how long I can keep myself from binging out...


  1. i hope your dog gets better soon
    ill being prayin for her
    i understand how you feel our hallie is 9 right now and i dont know what i would do without her

    dont binge it wont really help youll just feel sick

    try yoga or breathing to get through the anxiety

  2. ((((Becca)))) That is just awful. I hope she recovers.

    Try to be good to yourself sweetie. It will only make it worse if you binge out and it will just take an emotional toll on you.

  3. Hi Becca, I'm so sorry about your dog. We had to put our dog Sam down in 2004. I had him for 15 years and I still miss him. It's great that you realize that drugs and alcohol will make things worse not better. Food is trickier because we have to eat everyday. Just try to make the best choices possible. Be kind to yourself! I'll be hoping and praying for a positive outcome for your dog! (((HUGS)))

  4. I hope it is not cancer! I will keep you and Kahlua in my prayers. This breaks my heart Becca!