Tuesday, August 4, 2009

This is a Post about Friends/life or lack thereof!

So I've lived in Sacramento since I was 3 years old. I had a few friends in Elementary school, but the friendships didn't continue into Jr High. I made new friends in Jr high school, that never continued through high school or onto adulthood. I just don't understand why i haven't made any friends, I mean I know I don't get out much. That's hard without a car and moneys, were always broke because we both unemployed, I have a reason though. I would think that not having a car would be a stupid reason not to make/have friends, but then again I could be wrong. I just want to be normal and have normal adult friendships and things. I want to get out and do more things as I hardly call going grocery shopping or to wall mart Fun & Exciting. I have never been on Vacation, never stayed over night in a hotel out of town. Ive only been on a day trip to San Francisco a couple times and Reno to the casinos on my 21st B-day. It is so sad and it really sucks, It has nothing to do with the fact that I have been fat all my life either. It is just that there has never been anyone to want to do these things with me. My own family does things all the time but I am NEVER EVER Invited. But I guess that is for the best anyways they treat me like crap. But Seriously I am 28 and Ive never been to a party I went to a concert when I was 8 and one when I was 18 with my parents. I have never had a "girls night" never had coffee/lunch just to have it with a friend/acquaintance. I feel like I have missed so much and I know that I am genuinely a nice,sweet easy to get along with person, I may be shy but I warm once I get to know someone. I just Don't want to live like this anymore...


  1. Becca, if it makes you feel any better, just tonight I told my husband I am just so lonely sometimes.

    I've had friends everywhere I lived, and it was always from school or work where we met up. Since I moved to MN, I have met a lot of people, but I have no friends. I have done "mom" things with people, but believe me, I didn't have fun because I didn't click with these other moms at all.

    It does suck. I feel your pain. I wish we lived in the same town, because I'd drive by, pick you up and we could go out for coffee or lunch or whatever it is that friends do nowadays.

    My husband always tells me to find a hobby and meet people through that. I've tried it, it didn't work. BUT...I live in a very small, very conservative town. I'm not conservative, so that's strike one against me.

    I have four very good friends and the closest is three hours from me. We never get together. We talk on the phone. I long to get out of the house.

    I think this is a problem many people have but don't admit.

    I think when we don't work outside the home, it's difficult. I wish I had an answer for you. I'd definitely hang with you--even though I'm old. lol


  2. Becca i've never really had close friends. I have friends but i find it's not the same as a lot of people. It's more of a casual friendship. Or a phone one.
    Me, i think my problem is that i like being home at night alone with the hubs and i enjoy being a homebody. Where as a lot of people i know love to have people over all the time or go out all the time.

  3. Becca,
    I totally agree with the two above comments. You are not the only one who feels this way!
    You sound adorable, and if we lived close enough I'd totally hang out with you!^_^
    I had a really rough time adjusting during the first few years of being a stay at home mom. I was lonely, and yet never alone. I never realized how much social interaction I got just being out in the work force.
    I'm also the type of person that would prefer to be home at night with my family. I do go out sometimes, and occasionally we even have people over. Though I am not a big entertainer. Definitely not the type of person that enjoys having people over all the time.
    I feel like I have just very recently established my current circle of friends. Some through a book group, and the others through walking together. Are you familiar with exercisefriends.com? That's where I found one of my really good walking buddies!


  4. I think most of out there, know exactly what you feel. For me, it was more that when i turned 18; i moved to another state. Left my friends behind and lets face it... it's REALLY hard to keep up friendships long distance. I was lucky enough that a few kept in touch with me despite the distance (letters were AWESOME!!) they made efforts to see me when I'd come home to visit and so, when i moved home permanently again. We picked up where we left off. Because of 1 friend and being in her wedding, my circle widened. And it still is widening. But I wonder how do adults make friends? Because all my "friends" are childhood friends. People i knew of in HS, but was really only a friend with them because of someone else in HS. People I was friends with in HS or grade school. I have no friends I've met as an adult. I did when i lived in Washington. And my were they amazing friends... but all of them thru work. I actually miss them and the things we would do. :) They were so much fun. Gave me college years, without being in college. hahahahaha!!

    Anyhow... really what i came on to say, is that I've found a GREAT way to make "old" friends new again. Facebook (myspace too, but I prefer FB). I've reached out, searched out people from HS and grade school. Some whom I barely remember and now, my friendship circle is widening. Some times, it's only virtual (kinda like how I feel you are a friend), but some times, I'm able to nicely prod it into something more. Like for instance, this next week i have 2 dates with old friends (1 I barely knew in HS). 1 is a chance for our girls to play together, but it's really a mommy play date because WE just want to get together, we're just lucky to both have kids. :) the other is with a friend of mine I haven't seen in 9 years!!! All because of facebook. I'm shy I don't make new friends AT ALL!! I don't know how. But I do know how to virtually prod people into liking me. :) HEHEHEHEHE!!!

    If your not on them... you could try it. :) You'll be surprised at the people who DO remember you, or who you never really talked to, who now are your friends. :) But from there, it's up to you to get them to meet you in person. :)

    You seem like a great person and i'd be your friend in the real world if we lived closer (I'm in AZ). Also... if you do join Facebook... I'd be GLAD to be friends on there. Let me know. :)

  5. I'm right there with you...