Today's WI

I had a great WI this morning im so excited 183 pounds that is only 3 pounds from my mini goal. All that walking and getting bike rides in has paid off. I have been eating way better and we got good fruits and veggies from the farmers market and the grocery store. Im feeling good and I'm really on a roll and enjoying what I am doing and thats a big plus. well I just wanted to check in with my new weight and let everyone know that I am still on track and doing good. I'm of to the stuff and save event at Old Navy, wish me luck on finding clothes I will like. Have a good Friday everyone :)

Things are going much better this week!

Things have been going much better this week then the past weekend. Eats have been great and healthy, Ive been walking and even today we took a 4 mile bike ride. It was nice, felt great and was refreshing. I used to try to ride when we lived in the other house but I always had a hard time and could barely go 1 mile. I'm so proud of myself and glad I thought of going. The SO told me he was going to work out with me and that was on Monday and it has still yet to happen. I need a shower tonight but before i do I'm going to lift some weights and do some crunches. I am only 5 pounds away from my mini goal and 60 away from my main goal. I really hate being short because my 5'1 frame is still considered obese at 185 pounds... pooie I have to be 125 pounds to be in the healthy category. Well I am off to workout and shower, I'm looking forward to what tomorrow will bring, its my farmers market Thursday!!

Emotional eating..;. I fell off the wagon hard!

I am an emotional eater, and yesterday my emotions were all over the place. I went over my calories by 1250... shit that is alot and I feel like poop for it. I'm more mad and dissapointed in myself for letting someone get to me and bother me to the point that I binge and I have not done that in so long. I was doing good too and then bam it just hit me like a ton of bricks as I was shoveling half a cake in my mouth, bags of chips and energy drinks. Ah well it happened I owned up to it and now today is a new day and I don't want to sit at home on my computer any more its time to get out. Hopefully wanting to go do things today doesn't disrupt the house (god forbid I want to do someth8ing other then cook and clean)

on a side note I did really good at the party on sat, stuck to my plan, had a diet dr pepper but I shared it. It wasnt such a good idea tho, because later on that night I was so hungry and had a peanut butter & jelly sandwich on a wheat bun and that put me over my calories for sat too.

Todays happenings

oh boy another weekend, i have it planned somewhat. I'm going to a friends daughters b-day party and she is very low budget so its pizza, cake and ice cream. I am going to have 1 slice of pizza and half a piece of cake no Ice cream. I think I can handle that besides 1 slice of pizza will not kill me nor should it hinder my progress. Difference now is that I know its not good for me and I can honestly stop at 1 slice. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, being safe and having a good time. I got a thing in the mail yesterday for old navy, its a free tote bag and everything I can stuff inside it I get 20% off. I love old navy and I am excited to use it to get me some fall shirts, I have tons of jeans and no tops, I had really cute ones my honey bought me last year for fall/winter and they are just so big on me I swim in them.

I did it w/pictures too...

Well it took me a little while but I said to hell with it and bought myself something nice for my acievements thus far. I am so proud of myself too, because usually we reward our efforts with going out to eat. Not this time, tho it may have been cheeper lol, I still believe that I deserve it.

So I went on a small shopping spree and bought myself 2 new pairs of jeans and a cute top. Im putting up a few pictures to share my bounty, i love the jeans they are really cute and I still cant believe the size either.

well there ya have it I did something for me to celebrate my Weight loss and being able to keep it off for a year. Also as a bonus we had lunch with my mom and then walked to and from the farmers market, i love my thurdays. I got a half flat of strawberries $8, 2 peaches and 10 good sized red potatoes for $3, 2 nectarines for a buck and a basket of low acid grape tomatoes that are so yummy for $2.50. Gotta support the local growers.

Feeling better today, well sorta

Well yesterday was my 1 year aniversary of weight loss, this time last year I weighed 248 pounds. I didnt do a damn thing yesterday either, i didnt buy myself something new I didnt celebrate. But I did make my own Enchilida sauce and it was nummy, but I used a bit too much cumin and chilli powder. So I guess I did good by making my own sauce and salsa and adding it to the rice to make spanish rice without all the yucky additives and sodium. Im feeling a little better today, i woke up feeling particulaly bored with my life, but decited to walk up to the oposite grocery store thats far from my house. It felt really good, considering I have been slacking on my excersising and walking. I have been stuck at 188 pounds now for 28 days now and it is getting frustrating. I don't get it, I have the tools and the knowledge to get this shit done, but yet here I am. I keep telling myself that If I worked a little harder i would look and feel so much better, I can't even seem to lose .5-1 pound a week. Its all my fault because since the weekend I have been eating whatever I want without thinking twice. I mean not all day, and I still watch my portion sizes but queso and chips isnt a good snack food, German chocolate cake and oatmeal raisin and peanut butter cookies are not good snacks either. What the hell is wrong with me, I really should know better. I can't wait till all the crap is back outa the house again I should have just enjoyed my weekend and stopped when monday came around. Maybe that is why I am feeling so shitty, because i put crap into my body and I have been so lazy~

Weekend was nice...

I had a great somewhat relaxing weekend, the food was great and even tho I treated myself here and there I was sensable about it. Friday was the last day I walked, tho we did walk to the store to rent movies saturday but its only a .72 mile walk. We did walk today tho and walked to the store again to take the movies we rented back. I have so much I want to write about, but for some odd reason I am having mixed emotions and I think Im just going to finish my laundry and head off to bed. Maybe I will feel up to writing tommorow. I know its been awhile, lately I just hav'nt been in the mood...

I saw my Dr...

Well I saw my Dr yesterday and I talked to her about how I have been feeling and all that. So she looks back to my previous blood tests, one from December 08 which my blood sugars and gluclose and everything else was good, but no one told me that my thyriod levels were borderline low then. They did another test in March 09 but tested everything except thyroid. Everything was fine then too. So she is doing another full chem test, A1c and Hypothyroid tests. I see her in a month, but I dont want to wait untill then to find out whats going on.

As far as what I know about hypothyroid is that it makes you tired, depressed and lethargic, Memory loss and forgetfullness, abnormal menstraul periods and its slows your metabalism down to nearly impossible to lose weight. Well since December I have lost a good amount of weight and up until 2 weeks ago I have felt fine. As for getting enough sleep I sleep 8-9 hours a night and its good sleep. I get enough Iron in my diet at least 5-6 times a week anyways sometimes it is low. I try to have protiens with my carbs and I do use good fats. So I am really hoping that there isnt anything wrong with my Thyriod. Im a little scared but I know that no matter what things will be ok.
I'm still thinking that alot of it is because I havn't really been doing too much but siting at my computer alot. So for the next few days I am going to try and get more things done and keep busy to see if that helps. I have also been more lienint with my foods as of the last week that could have alot to do with it as well. I will let you all know when I get my results back, that is when my SO decides to take me to the lab to get my blood done.

loseing energy after meals?

For the past few weeks I have been getting tired after eating, breakfast I want to crawl back into bed about 20 minutes after I finish. Lunch its the same thing and after dinner is the worst, but I still manage to go for my evening walks. I havnt really changed anything and have been going at this for a year now and I would have so much energy after eating better and healthier foods now I just have no energy anymore. Does anyone else that has been eating right for a long time notice this? I know my cereals have tons of carbs in them ( i eat total and Fiber one almost every morning with lots of fruit in it) So I expect to feel a little lethargic after breakfast but to the point where I fall asleep at my desk or crawl back into bed lol.

My biggest Challenge

Ive been doing so good, yesterday the scale had said 187 and today its freaking 188 again. Oh well My clothes fit better now and I know Ive been doing great with my eating and working out. Ive decided to work out harder on 3 days a week. My Mondays,Wednesdays and Fridays consist of 40 minute or more walks, elliptical, stationary, weight lifting, resistance bands and Jump rope. I can only do a few minutes of each, but I'm working on doing more. After a 40 minute walk my legs hurt and its hard to do other things when they are sore. My biggest challenge is coming tomorrow, my aunt is having a b-day party for her and my cousin who is turning 25. Its a challenge because my family likes to party and eat junk. We are bringing Mac/potato salads to share and a green salad with veggies for us so we don't go overboard with the other "fattening" salads if we have any at all. She is getting a fruit salad, wheat rolls and luncheon meats as the main meal which is a whole lot better then what could be having. Its all the other things like, buckets of chips, cheese platters,pinwheels, Fugatza bread, Dips, Candy and Deserts OH MY!! But I'm going with a plan and bringing things that I can enjoy and besides allot of that crap doesn't appeal to me anymore, the CHEESE does tho because she always buys the really good stuff like Havarti,Gouda and Sharp Colby MMMMMMMM I love cheese and it is my one weakness. Ill let y'all know how things go later. I know I can get through it and even allow myself to have a small treat I know how to watch my portions and I know what I shouldn't be eating now. Hope that everyone has a great Friday and a safe and happy weekend!

This is a Post about Friends/life or lack thereof!

So I've lived in Sacramento since I was 3 years old. I had a few friends in Elementary school, but the friendships didn't continue into Jr High. I made new friends in Jr high school, that never continued through high school or onto adulthood. I just don't understand why i haven't made any friends, I mean I know I don't get out much. That's hard without a car and moneys, were always broke because we both unemployed, I have a reason though. I would think that not having a car would be a stupid reason not to make/have friends, but then again I could be wrong. I just want to be normal and have normal adult friendships and things. I want to get out and do more things as I hardly call going grocery shopping or to wall mart Fun & Exciting. I have never been on Vacation, never stayed over night in a hotel out of town. Ive only been on a day trip to San Francisco a couple times and Reno to the casinos on my 21st B-day. It is so sad and it really sucks, It has nothing to do with the fact that I have been fat all my life either. It is just that there has never been anyone to want to do these things with me. My own family does things all the time but I am NEVER EVER Invited. But I guess that is for the best anyways they treat me like crap. But Seriously I am 28 and Ive never been to a party I went to a concert when I was 8 and one when I was 18 with my parents. I have never had a "girls night" never had coffee/lunch just to have it with a friend/acquaintance. I feel like I have missed so much and I know that I am genuinely a nice,sweet easy to get along with person, I may be shy but I warm once I get to know someone. I just Don't want to live like this anymore...

I did something I havnt done in 12 years

Last night after my walk I had decided to work out a little more. I did some weights for my arms, resistance bands for the thighs and 4 minutes of the elliptical. I also did something I haven't done in 12 years... JUMPED ROPE. LOL it was so awkward at first because I hadn't done it in so long, i kept missing the jump and getting it caught on things, but i did it and I didn't give up. :) I also did some crunches for my upper tummy and lower before i was so tired I climbed into bed and went to sleep. I also put away some more clothes into my "fat clothes box" and just for shits and giggles I got myself into one leg of my 26 pants I used to love, it was funny and i shocked the heck outta my mom and dad, my mom said "good lord" and my dad's jaw drooped. I cannot believe I was ever that big, and I hope to never be again!

Thoughts

Ive been somewhat slacking on my goals lately. It just seems that I don't ever stick to anything I start. Aside from eating better and moving those I have no problem sticking with. Every week it just seems harder and harder to lose that 1 lb. I'm too hard on myself when i see a .5-3 pound gain when I know my sodium has been off the hook that week if I haven't had a BM in awhile. This journey I am on is really hard to say the least but I have learned that anything worth while is not easy. I started this journey to lose weight and get healthy and look good. Along the way I have changed how I think and how I feel about myself and things. Allot of it is mental and when you struggle with Bi-Polar Disorder it makes the challenge even harder. I feel like I have pushed passed allot tho and I know i am doing MY best with what I have.

Weekends

I really dont have alot to talk about today, my weekend has been slow and boring which is the norm for me. Im doing good with eating so far and I did take my walk this evening and it was nice. I always enjoy my walks alot and they make me feel good about myself for getting off my lazy ass and MOVING!! I hope that everyone is having a great weekend. My thoughts and Prayers go out to Jen and her family.