What a weekend :)

So I got a phone call today from my x boyfriend, now I'm not going into details but I have known him since I was 14. I have mixed emotions and it sucks, I mean I will always care for him as he was the first man I ever really lived with and spent much time with. He is doing well hasn't really changed much, but still it is so weird having talked to him.
Other than that things have been OK, yesterday we went to my 16 year old nephews Surprise b-day party at a Pizzeria... There was so much food, I had a big plate of antipasto salad minus the salami, with olive oil and vinegar dressing. 1 slice of veggie pizza a small serving of pasta with meat sauce and a 1/2 of a piece of chocolate cake -frosting and 1/2 of the fruit basket cake with a little whip cream. I did well considering and tho the Dr said to get rest and take it easy I haven't seen most of my family in a long time so it was nice. Aunt flow came to visit today so I am dreading that on top of my other issues. I have been thinking that I really truly need to get back on track and get my health issues under control. It will be hard with having to rest and take it easy because I don't see my regular Dr until the 9Th of March.

I had an Ovarian Cyst rupture last night :(

Well I spent most of last night and early morning in the ER again. This time I have 2 Ovarian cysts and one of them suckers Ruptured, and it hurt like nothing else. I was laying in bed doubled over screaming and on the verge of vomiting from the pain. I'm on rest no exercises and I have to take vicodin and Motrin for the pain and inflammation. Sad thing is that I cannot pick up my meds until Monday so I have to take 1/2 the norco I have and 2 200mg Ibuprofen until then. I'm scared and stressed out but I know its not going to help me, now more than anything I have to stick with it. Following up with my Dr on the 9Th of march...

30 day detox programme

I have really been working to get back on track, but no matter what I cannot fight this feeling of being hungry all the time. I do really well until about 4pm then I just cannot fight the cravings and I binge out on cookies, junk and candy and them I am even more hungry afterwards.
Also I almost burnt down the house today because I forgot I had a frying pan with canola oil in it on the highest setting and I walked away and forgot about it... it caught fire 3 times and I was so scared an my poor mom was almost having a heart attack. Ive been in a fog for awhile now and I don't like it. I have been giving allot of thought to a 30 day detox programme. I am limited in what I can eat and allot of it I have never made or had before... I plan to start on March 1st and here is a list of the foods I can eat my first week:

Brown rice,quinoa,millet,buckwheat, including their flours,flakes and egg free pastas
Rice cakes and crackers, puffed rice cereal
fresh fruits and veggies, excluding ones of the potatoe family, and tomatoes peppers and aubergines.
Fresh herbs and caffeine free natural teas
fresh fish,frozen or tinned in water
rice milk without additives ( i could make my own)
lemons and limes for flavoring
a little Olive Oil
WATER...

Things are looking up :)

Things have been good, a little bit of stress here and there but overall and improvement over the beginning of this month. Been going for a morning walk all week and plan to continue until the weather gets better for bike rides. I am looking forward to March and praying it will be a better month.

I bought a live basil plant but dont know what to do with it?

Like the title of this post says, I bought it at Bel air because I love fresh basil and have some frozen and it is hard to use. But there are no instructions on the plant other than to keep the roots moist and partial sunlight. Went to the Website and they say not to transplant it because it will die... what do I do to keep it growing? its in a little plastic pot with the roots exposed on the bottom... I am no green thumb and I have killed every plant I ever got.

Back on track :)

I started off the morning with a bowl of cereal with a half banana and a Morning walk. I am already feeling better, and back on track with eating. It is hard because my body is used to the calories Ive been consuming that I constantly feel hungry but I know I am not. My body is getting the right nutrition and vitamins and minerals. The weather has been crappy and cold but I am not letting that get in my way anymore. Thanks to all who believe me because I know that I can get back on track for good and get to my goals!!

I has new followers *cheers* Yayy!!!

Wow so many new followers, Welcome to my Journey Please feel free to be honest and leave your tips and advice or what have you on my Posts. I hope that everyone is enjoying their weekends.
I have been trying to get back on track, but haven't been doing so well. Went over my calories by 1200 2 days in a row. I'm trying tho and I know I can do this because I need to get back on track so that I can feel better and Heal. Thanks everyone for your support YOU ALL ROCK!!!

Thank you for your comments...

Thanks for all you comments on my last post... I read them all and I would like to say that I just wonder if I am her for others then why do I make those around me just as miserable as me, and why would God leave me here to do that? I hate my life right now and more then I have in the past.. I cannot afford to get help, no one in my family gives a shit and no one will help me... So again I just want to know why God won't take me because I dont want to be here anymore!!

What is my purpose in life?

Have you ever sat down and really thought and wondered what your purpose was in life? I sat up half the night honestly thinking what I am her for, I mean here I am going on 29 still living at home, Haven't had a job since 2000, Cant get one,Have no friends or social life, no one in my family besides my Aunt talks to me the rest hate me, I have no children and feel strongly that I may never have any. I am mentally Unstable to say the least as I have bi-polar disorder and I also have severe personality disorder as well.Tho I have a BF we've been together for 5 years and I feel that he has no intention of ever marrying me or us ever have a real life together with carrers, and children, as I see us still living off my parents until were old and Gray. The one true bond I had with someone has been broken as my Kahlua bug is gone now. So I ask again why am I here what is my purpose in life?...

Happy Valentines day fellow bloggers!

Just a little happy valentines to you all! Hoping that everyone has a good time and enjoys their day/evening :)