Sunday, April 7, 2013

I'm Baaaccckkkk yet again....

Wow it has been forever since I sat down to blog. A lot has happened, some good, some bad and some meh. Still struggling with my weight and mental illness, sometimes I really feel they go hand in hand. I got married On October 10th of 2012 in Vegas to the person I have been with since 2005. It wasn't the ideal wedding, but it was the best I could do with what I was given. It was very stressful and due to family that is so controlling up until the day we left Vegas I couldn't relax and was stressed to the max. I don't even think I remember most of it. There was no honeymoon or anything like that, we poor and I guess I am lucky that I even got what I did. (btw, there was no formal engagement  it was kinda like me saying hey, lets get married in Vegas while were there.) We visited my in laws for 3 days which was kinda the whole reason to the Vegas trip anyways. They were really cool people and I enjoyed my stay (first time meeting them was at the wedding). We even adopted a 10 month old puppy from my MIL's Dog Rescue and things were good.
The puppy wasn't doing to well and would limp allot and had a bladder infection. After taking her into the vet we got devastating news that she had something my vet had never seen before. Needless to say it was all just more stress and worry and uncertainty all piled up on me.  We found out our puppy has Valley Fever (its a fungal infection that she will have for life.) will have to be on meds forever and could have a ton of complications  including a seizure.  Once again no support at home, and comments about getting a Lemon Dog, forced us to make a rash decision to move to Arizona to get our puppy the best medical care and for me to have more support. Hubby had a job set up and we were to stay with my in laws until we got on out feet.  WORST MISTAKE EVER!!!! Had I known I was going to be in a situation that I had to eat and live by other peoples rules as if I was a 5 year old, I would have certainally passed.  I thought I'd finally had a chance to get out of the toxic environment I was in, and I thought it would change my life. I was so wrong and it pains me that I was far better off staying at home with my parents then leaving. I lost all the money I had saved up, my self respect, my freedom and myself in the process. The grass is not always greener on the other side!  I've since picked myself up and decided that whatever is thrown at me, I'm going to stand up and push past it, no matter how many times life pushes me down. Hell I have been through enough and if I got through all that then I can get through anything. Had I known I was going to be in a situation that I had to eat and live by other peoples rules as if I was a 5 year old, I would have certainally passed. In the process of all this and shitty eating while living with In laws and the stress of being away from home for the first time, with people I didn't get along with, and my so called Husband not supporting or standing be me, I gained 40 pounds :( We moved back to Sacramento in February and it took a huge toll on me, I am still not happy about any of it but I make the best of it.
     Still not working, and my mental health pushed pasted its limits I'm still bored all the time. Not to mention that hubby is at home 24/7 and is having trouble looking for a job. My life really stinks right now and I'm still semi broken. I make the best of it all and I wake up every day and hope for something new and exciting. I guess I really shouldn't have any expectations because I am always let down. No Money, no car, no friends and barely hanging on to my marriage is taking a bigger toll on me in the long run.  So to keep myself busy I have been doing a lot of online surfing. Iv'e seen the movie Food Inc, that was what prompted the change in me so many years ago. There is a lot of information out there, and while I have not really ever jumped on the diet craze train I have tried different things. It seems that I came across some potent information that led me to read and research as much as I can. After watching the movie/documentary "Hungry For Change" I started to question and wonder if the way I have been eating and trying to balance it all out has been all wrong. I stumbled across the  Weston A Price Foundation Website. Wow there is so much logic and proof into his work it really makes you step back and think.  Everything that we have been led to believe about Healthy Eating has been wrong?
      If you have been following me for a while then you know that I have been trying to lose this weight once and for all. Sure I lost 150 pounds, put about 20-40 back on but maintained that for a few years now. I started out by cutting out fast food, and limiting my soda consumption.  Then I started to eat low fat and fat free dairy products in moderation as well as only using Canola and Olive oil to cook with. I tried to cut out as much processed food as I could, considering my living situation and the support I get at home in this environment. Sure it was really hard and I had to mostly give in because there simply was no support or respect for what I wanted. Lately I have been putting my foot down and doing what I want to do and trying to keep myself healthy. It has not been easy, and it's been expensive and a learning experience and I still have so much more to learn.
   It has been 2 weeks, and I feel Amazing!!Iv'e lost 2 pounds and hubby lost 7... Who would have thought that eating Butter, Ghee, Lard, Tallow,Coconut Oil, Pasture raised grass fed red meats, lots and lots of  pasture raised organic eggs, Pasture raised, grass fed WHOLE Dairy products Including Raw Milk and Raw Cheese, Soaked Grains, Homemade tortillas and lots of other homemade from scratch stuff Whole Foods was the answer?
It is a Traditional Diet that so many cultures from our past lived by and were SO much more Healthy then we are in this day and age.  Now this has not been easy at all even though we were not eating processed foods to begin with. Hard to change 30+ years of what you thought was the "healthy" way to eat.
      Today was the first day of our Grocery shopping for the month of our new way of eating. I have read so much about not being able to eat healthy on a very tight budget and that having a weekly budget of $125 for a family of 4 is hard.  Well so far I have been able to get my staples, the most important parts of my diet and a few extras that should last at least 2-4 weeks with also incorporating what I already have for $169!! It is totally doable, and there may be a few things I don't buy in the future that could bring that total down way more.
  I know this blog is full of so much jumbled crap, I just had to write this all out and share. I'm rusty so bear with me please. I hope to start blogging again. I have 2 to keep up with and I may just incorporate them together. One is on weight loss and the other was how to save money shopping and using coupons.  

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