Just needing to Vent...

Well at least I sorted out why things have been going so shitty lately other than the stress. Its my monthly visit started this morning which is why I have been eating so much chocolate and why I went crazy at lunch yesterday. I also have been dealing with some other issues that I am kinda iffy about mentioning but I feel if I keep them in then I will explode. I am having issues with Facebook, not the site itself, but issues with the fact that my honey talks to all the girls from his past and is always commenting and leaving them messages and my posts and things always go UN noticed by him. When his friends leave messages about me he doesn't even comment its like he ignores it. I feel like crap and I have so many self esteem issues already that this doesn't help at all. If I mention anything to him at all he gets all pissy and says "Fine I'm just going to delete my entire account, then there will be no issues". That isn't it at all so I cannot talk to him about it and I have no one else to talk to so I let it sit and stew and I just start feeling more and more like I don't matter. I think he would say that we talk face to face all day everyday so there isn't anything really to talk about or that the other doesn't know, but that is besides the point. I'm just all screwed up with emotions right now, don't know why it happens every month. Hoping that the weekend will be better :)

Its been a bad bad couple of days

Things have been crazy stressful as of late and I am going nuts. I have been binge eating and not doing any exercises. Today we went to lunch at Chevy's and I ate 3 baskets of chips and salsa, an entire Santa Fe chopped salad with Bacon, 2 oz of cheese and Apple chipotle vinaigrette and I also helped finish off my moms sizzling fajita plate and all the sour cream and Guac for the sides. I don't know what got into me but I have gone over my calories for 3 days now with all the wrong foods. I was doing so good, i let loose for 1 day this weekend and it just been all hell broke lose since then... I am hungry and will not eat because I had enough today and I am sick and I have a headache. I don't know why I do this to myself, I can do good for so long then BAM I just go off the deep end. I need mental help still to deal with my issues but still cannot find any resources for free in Sacramento with this shitty ass health care we have! Uggg Just a bad bad day for me, oh i went to the Dr today to follow up on my Ovarian Cysts and that is another freaking story I don't want to get into but good news is they are shrinking and hopefully will eventually go away.

The sun has come back to Sac!

The sun is shining and it felt so good to get out today. Did a 3.22 mile walk and it felt amazing I even did small spurts of running. Not much for me its an accomplishment because I do not remember the last time i was able to run :) The sunny weather is expected to last through the weekend and I am looking forward to it! I decided that I was going to go on maintenance calories for a couple of days while I get back into the swing of things and 1230 calories a day is not enough for me I have been so hungry and not being able to get out just made it worse. I been doing good tho I didn't go over those calories but i am also not looking for a loss on the scale tomorrow. Anything is possible though so who knows. I have been feeding my body the best foods I know it craves and loves me back for eating. I need to drink more water tho and it has been hard because my "Chuggie" that is as big as 8 full glasses of water and is PBA free plastic always smells like mold despite cleaning it with a bottle brush. So I have been just using my smaller bottles and my new Eco friendly stainless one but it is still hard to keep filling it and the water jug to filter all day lol... Lousy excuse I know but can you blame me?

Did I lose my Followers?

I think I have been away for too long, or I'm just not writing interesting enough posts. I have always thought of myself as a good writer but I can never come up with catchy post titles LOL. It has been rainy here and somewhat miserable but that's the way life goes and I am just trying to make the best of it. Having lunch with my mom today so I need to get going to prepare it. I have convinced her to start using Nutrimirror and tho she is not getting the whole concept of balance she is still doing so much better with her eating. I have become more open to cooking and making things from scratch and it makes me more relaxed when I am in the kitchen making stuff and preparing. Sorry for such a short post but I got to get my but off this chair and get moving!

60 minutes of activity today!!

I did 16 minutes of bike riding, as it has been miserable and stormy here. The clouds broke for a calming few minutes but a new front was moving in fast and I did not want to be caught up in it. It is time to do a few minutes on the elliptical and then stretching and my aerobics videos. Not what I had in mind for today but the storm has put a damper on my 1 hour or more bike ride :(

I have been missing out :(

Hello lovely bloggers, hope you all had a great weekend. I have been having some tummy issues so eating has not been great and getting exercise last week was eh. I gained a pound but I went 5 days without a BM and then I had some icky stuff going on when I finally got to go. So as a distress er i decided to draw a hot bubble bath with a stress relief candle and soak. WOW have I been missing out on a really enjoyable pleasure. The idea of soaking in water that you get into with whatever funk is on your body always turned me off to baths, that and the fact that I could never fit into a tub. I am looking at it in a whole new light because I truly enjoyed it and I cannot remember a time that i was that relaxed and stress free. I see more of those bubble baths in my future.
Tonight dinner was so good, we had grilled Chicken Breast with a Mango pineapple salsa I made from scratch and it tasted so good. I also made an oven roasted sweet potatoes dish that was also good too. I will give you the recipe just in case you might want to give it a try. Also my Loving Honey made a Pizza for dinner on Saturday That was KICKIN!!! It was 4oz of TJ's Garlic and Herb pizza dough (enough for a personal 6 inch pizza) With homemade sauce from fresh tomatoes, basil and garlic and Italian onion. The toppings were fresh green onion, fresh mushrooms, fresh black olives, fresh fire roasted red bell peppers and more Italian onion, and cant forget the Shredded Pizza cheese and all for 300 calories :)


Mango salsa
1/2c Diced fresh Mango
1/2c Chunk Pineapple
1-2 cloves of garlic (more of less to taste)
1 tsp fresh chopped ginger root (more of less to taste)
1 tbsp both cilantro and basil ( more or less to taste)
1/2-1 Fresh Jalapeno or other type of hot peeper
1/4c chopped Fire Roasted Red Peeper (optional, you can use fresh bell peeper too)
Juice of a small to med lime

mix into bowl and chill for 1-2 hours and serve however you like it!


Oven Roasted Sweet Potatoes :
Preheat oven to 500
2-3 pounds of Sweet Potatoes with skin
1tbsp EVOO
5-6 Cloves of Garlic
1tsp Garlic powder
1tsp Paprika
1/4tsp of peeper

Chop potatoes in skin and place in bowl big enough to toss ( or put the lid on and shake)
add the Tbsp of EVOO and garlic along with spices and seasonings toss to coat well
Spray a baking sheet with EVOO or other nonstick cooking spray and bake for 20 minutes
stirring potatoes half way through. Broil for 2 minutes and enjoy

The Dreary weather made me do it...

I was so excited on Friday, it started out as a great day. But because I didn't plan on getting a Tattoo (it was a surprise) it kinda threw my whole planned eating out the window. I had planned to make fish and brown rice with veggies as I do every Friday but I had arrived home to late to cook. There was too much time in between eating that I ended up eating too much and having way to much chocolate. This continued on into the weekend and on Sunday I decided to see where I was weight wise, up 2 frig en pounds. The weather has been shitty and therefore I'm in a bad place, I haven't worked out and I have been binging on full fat cheese and lots of Easter chocolate (those are my 2 vices, cheese and chocolate). My body is feeling it and so is my cloudy mind despite my efforts to get back on track this week. Went to the mall and walked around and shopped for 2 hours, I found my Goal bathing suite and I had to freaking have it (as I always kick myself in the rear when I don't get something I really really like). Problem is it is a String/halter bikini and I am in no way ready to bare this flab with my tattas n rolls hanging out of it. So I guess I must put my nose to the stone and Kick it back into gear so that just maybe by July or August I could wear it...

Here it is, in all its glory (see why I had to have it?) and me not so much lol

Speaking of Tattoo's I got one and Im Down 124 pounds as of today!

Woo Hoo today has been a great day for sure. Morning WI results 176 pounds!!! I am down 124 pounds,damn that is another person. I also got a surprise today from a long time friend who I consider a sister and her mom ( i call her mom too) An early b-day present from my Honey who I adore so much :)

here it is :

Tattoos and make-up, Oh my!

Everywhere I look there are new tattoo's and talk about makeup... I want a new tattoo and I think that will be my reward when I hit my goal. I know I am getting a new one for my b-day but its an addition to the paw prints I have on my calf. Any who, I have always used Avon makeup, I love it because it works for me. But allot of talk has been going on about MAC an Sephoria, expensive but worth it in my opinion. My thing is that I have great skin aside from the huge pores (me being my own worst critic again) and I am worried about trying another foundation because I tend to break out. I have been using the Sheer Cover stuff, and I am not impressed. I want to try the MAC out but I don't know which one to try as there are so many. I am on a tight budget so If I get something its gotta really work, so any suggestions would be great (please include the actual type of foundation, like liquid, or mineral powder etc.... I be confused. I have tried the Avon mineral powder and it just doesn't cover like a liquid does.
I will stick with using my Avon Eye shadows and such because they are perfect for me. I Love mascara and must have tried all of them, side from the more expensive ones, and Id have to say that none of them really work like they say they do. I am using the Max factor 2000 calorie one but they no longer sell it in the US. Guess I will have to delve deeper into whats out there!! \
I am still on track and loving the nice weather we are having it is great. Did 12 miles on bike yesterday and planning a morning walk and afternoon bike ride for today :)

as promised before and after pics, 1 yr

There you have it my 1 yr updated pictures... as always I don't see a difference but I was about 205 in the April 09 and 178 in the new ones :)

Feeling Lazy about taking updated pics.

OK I know I said that I would post updated regular pics but things have been crazy and I haven't gotten around to taking any new ones. Today I did spring cleaning on the Office and closet. Did a 1 hr walk this morning that felt great, my eating is back on track *Easter was not good to me*. I have to be up at the but crack of dawn to get some things taken care of, good thing about it tho is I get to make a special trip to Trader Joe's! Too bad I am broke, but I can still look around and see what goodies they have that I can always go back and get when I have the moneys. maybe I will Take some pics tomorrow If I am feeling froggy enough :)

Updated Before and After Body Pics

Here are the updated body pictures from March of last year to now :)... I'm still searching my HD's for regular pictures from April 09 to post for later :) Stay tuned...

BTW I don't see much of a difference and I hate this saggy skin :(

What a great way to start off the weekend :)

Well here it is the close of another week and I am Proud to report a 1 pound loss. I am at 178 pounds the smallest I have been since my early Teens. I even have TOM visiting and I can feel the bloat and retention. Although with the clean eating I feel so much better, my PMS has been mild and that is a huge change. I did binge 1 day but it wasn't too bad and that was the end of it. I am really enjoying how I feel and my body is changing allot and I love it. I still have some loose skin and issues with the flab on my back/lower back butt all in all I am happy with the progress. I feel that I need to weight train more to see better results and to replace the fat I still have with the lean muscle. I am confused on what workouts to do to see some toning in my back areas where I am most concerned. I will be posting new pictures up this weekend to compare with the ones I took last year around this time. Hope that everyone has a great Friday and a awesome weekend!

Anonymous comments?

You know those "anonymous" comments you get? How do you find out the Ip address of whom they came from?