I hate TOM

So I am totally going to start my Monthly here in a few days. I'm on my "brown" BC pills, I'm bitchy and no matter what I eat I am still hungry. Blah I have been doing so well and now I'm binging and want to eat everything in sight. I'm also fatigued and my body aches I hate everything and I just want to go to sleep!

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Should I stick up for myself or walk away?

Not really so much weight loss related today but I need to get some things off my chest before I pop. I Love my parents and I am thankful that they are letting me live her still, but I feel like a House Bitch. I do everything and I get yelled at for doing it. My dad has the worst attitude and even yesterday we were talking about saving a little money and walking somewhere, my mom said that were just going to park in the garage, I was like "we will have to pay" My dad said "oh SHUT UP" real mean. OK first off he has no right to talk to me that way and treat me like dirt, yes they let me live here, But my bf pays for our Internet, cell phones, I buy all the food for the house and mine and my Bf necessities, we don't watch t.v. I cook everyday and I clean and do dishes. Whenever we want to do something it is a problem, we can't go out to dinner or have a date night. They even have problems when we go for a walk and bike ride.
I'm more frustrated because my dad knows I cook breakfast every morning at 9am and today he decides to take the stove apart and take his sweet time cleaning it because I asked mom if she wanted Oatmeal.* sigh* I been in a funk all weekend and I think that just kinds threw me in deeper. My BF says that I should stand up for myself, but knowing my parents I just walk away and go in my room and have an attack when they do this shit to me. I am afraid they will kick me out if I ask for respect and put them in there place.

I have finally broke through the 180's, Im at 179 !!

This week has been rather busy, lots of great eating, walking, working out and Biking. As a compliment to my S.Y.F.F.Z plan I have been eating clean. I feel fanfreakingtastic!! I have so much natural energy and I feel good about myself and my body. As a Plus I lost 5 pounds this week :) tho I feel some of that was due to my irregularity and over consumption of sodium the prior week. I bought the Tosco Reno Eating Clean Diet Recharged book and I am really enjoying it allot. I am finally tired at night, I sleep through the night more (minus the bathroom trips since I have increased my water intake as well). and I am awake at 8 am. it just feels so different to what I have felt in the past its like I am a totally different Person now and I love it!!

update to bad eats

I decided to take it easy and go on a 4 mile bike ride closest to the house. This evening after dinner we took a 5 mile walk down to the park and walked around there and saw like 10 jack rabbits running around near the archery things. I feel better and I had a bowl of cereal because I was feeling hungry and it wasn't such a bad choice. Now comes the crazy weekend, up at 7am to run errands, pick up more corn cushions for me toe... which BTW my right foot (the one with the corn) has about 5 blisters on it... I'm guessing I have to take a break but I don't want to :( Also picking up Twilight: New Moon yayy!!!

Bad Eats

So I had to get up at 6:30 am and take my but to the walk in GYNO clinic, only to find out they don't open until 8am. Sat there for hours waiting to be seen feeling nauseous and hungry. I had a Luna Bar at 7 but that was more like a snack for me. We decided to go to Denny's and have Brunch, which was OK because I ordered 2 egg whites, whole wheat pancakes and 1 chicken sausage patty. I had to have those new pancake puppies with blueberries and I shared them with my honey. My sodium for today is off the hook and I have not even had lunch or dinner and I'm well into 800 calories for Bkfst alone :(. Dr wants me to take it easy, no jumping, bouncing running, jogging or vigorous sex... I;m disappointed about not being able to do cardio and I am afraid to go biking now because she said that pressure may make the other Cyst rupture as well... So I guess that I am screwed for trying to make better choices, but forgetting that even the Healthier choices have tons of fat, calories and sodium at any restaurant. Someday I will learn I'm not going to beat myself up, but I'm still upset because I am tired feeling run down and I cannot do cardio to burn this crap off...

Weekly update :)

I broke down this past weekend and had Chinese food. I had figured sharing a pint of Chicken chow mien, Orange chicken and Chicken with zucchini wouldn't hurt. Boy was I wrong, I don't usually weigh myself during the week anymore but i figured that I should see where i was. I wish I hadn't tho because it said 187 pounds, that is 6 pounds up from My WI on Friday. I chalk it up to the Sodium and the MSG that was in it. I have otherwise been great with my eating and been walking, biking and working out everyday except Sunday. I have noticed that when I change around some of the foods or substitute them from what Denise has in her book, I find myself eating less calories and or feeling hungry and eating things I normally wouldn't. But I am still sticking with it and tailoring it as I see fit for what I have on hand and what others will eat. I have noticed that my tummy and lower back is getting firmer which is a plus. I got a corn on my right foot on the toe between my pinkie and third toe and it freaking hurts. I never has problems before and i love my Nike tennies so I am thinking it was from the crappy socks I bought at wal mart. I got some corn remover stuff and the cushions to wear so that I can still walk, bike etc. I just hope it goes away and doesn't become infected.

2 pounds down this week

Had a busy day today, it was fun and nice just wish it would have lasted longer. I have lost 2 pounds and 1 inch off my waist so far. I feel so great when I eat right and move and that makes me feel better about where I am at in my life right now. My family has so many health problems that it scares me and I know that hopefully allot will be prevented if I take care of myself. The sun is shinning outside and it looks great, a little on the cooler side but I want to go out and enjoy it!!

Doing good this week :)

I'm doing good on the S.Y.F.F.Z Ive been real good with the eating and have not been hungry. Staying around 1400 calories and been sticking to the walking and working out. Ive chose to work out in the evenings after 9pm because that is the time I can have the living room to myself and have the room to actually move in.

Moday, first day on the program

I am starting on my Shrink Your Female Fat Zones Program today. Breakfast was good a nice healthy fruit smoothie and 1 piece of Extra fiber toast and 1 tsp of spread. Time for my morning walk then my Monday workout. I'm feeling optimistic about this and I am hopeful that I can stick with it. Wish me luck!!

Sticking with something?

Now that I am feeling better it is time to get back to it. I have been doing well with eating and i feel that my tummy has shrunk and isn't as bloated as it was before. My Goal is to actually stick with a program and I mean really stick with it. I have tried doing the Denise Austin daily dozen and I saw Great results but I never stuck with it, Ive tried the 30 day shred for about 9 days and didn't stick with that. This time I am going to follow the Shrink Your Female Fat Zones program by Denise Austin. I have the Workout DVD and the book. It is nice because all it requires is Stretching 3 times a day, 25 minute walk and 15 minutes of your targeted "zone". Lets just see if I can stick to this, It would be good and I would feel so accomplished to actually stick with something that works. For the most part I have tried to cut out the unnecessary sugars, I mean it is hard and I still eat cereal and I had Chocolate chip fiber one pancakes. But I have been really good about not having cookies or candy it will be a week on Friday that I haven't had any of this junk. I have been eating allot of Carbs, but in the means of Whole grain cereal, Whole wheat pasta and potatoes. For me it is hard to watch the carbs because I have always had a protein, starch and a veggie with dinner all my life and its just the way it is. I really love my cereal or Oatmeal or fiber one pancakes in the mornings, and I try to watch the carbs and if I get them they are usually the ones that are better for you... But a carb is a carb is a carb LOL...
Started of the day with a nice breakfast, a stretch and a 28 minute morning walk, followed by a nice half salad at Applebees with good company. I just hope that the rest of the day and evening go well as they hardly ever do these days.