Friday, May 28, 2010
Someone Kick me in the ass, or light a fire under it!!
So the weather has been really bi-polar here in Sacramento for the last couple of weeks. With that came stress of not being able to get out and walk and bike, which in turn caused me to become Depressed. Then Of course my TOM was in the works and that did not make it any easier. Also in that time I have come to the realization that the people I thought were my friends are only there when they want something from me. Therefore I have no real friends and that comes the thought of not being able to hang out and have BB Q's in the summer and OHHHH the Loneliness :(... This is too much to handle all at once, so I decided that eating, sleeping and Drinking would help me get through all the emotions that were brewing in me. Yeah drinking Rum and soda or energy drinks every day isn't very helpful. Yesterday was bad, I had A family size bag of jalapeno popper Doritos to myself, 3 doughnuts for breakfast, 4 ounces of lunch meat on my sandwich and for dinner 5 pieces of pizza and 3 crazy breads with lots of sauce. Now I know it could have been worse and I know i made these choices and I am OK with them, but did they help? Not in the least! I am surprised that I woke up in a better mood today with a bit of energy and clean eats to start the day. A afternoon walk that started with some douche yelling out his car "walk fat ass, Walk!!" I was like WTF, then I flipped him off and told him to come say it to my face and called him a Motherfucker!! I was pissed because for one, I have not ever had anyone do that to me since I was a teen. Second I know I'm still fat at 177 pounds and only 5'1 but I don't need some stranger reminding me of that. Yeah I am up from 173 but I am aware and I know now that the weather is improving I will be too!! Happy Friday everyone