Thursday, October 22, 2009

I am still here, struggling but I have hope!

I am still here, strugling a bit but doing much better. The weather has been nice and I have been taking advantage of it as much as I can. Walking and bike riding. Eating has been ok but I think it could be better. I have been doing alot of thinking and I think it contributes to my mood and how I feel mentally. There are alot of things that have come up lately that I have to sort through and get passed so that I can stay on track. It isn't easy because I am an emotional person and eater and its not good for me. I need to deal with my feelings other ways then shoving food into my mouth just to feel really guilty about it later, not to mention what it does to my mood, the numbers on the scale and my body. I need to stay focused and it gets harder and harder as it gets colder and towards the holidays. Other than Halloween and New years I am not fond of the holidays, they always make me depressed and think about the family members and friends who have passed on and they way my family treats me. I have always felt left out and have even ran away to come back and not one person knew I was gone and on several occasions too. I guess that I have always been a "dweller" and that is not healthy it has gotten a little better over the years, but during the holidays it can come on fearce. I am going to just take it one day at a time and hope for the best. I am loving the weather and want to hold onto it for as long as I can...


  1. Everything does get magnified during the holidays. Maybe it is time to build some new friendships and traditions to help you through the next ones.

    Hope you are feeling better now.

  2. I agree with fatfreeme. The holiday's are a wonderful time to start new traditions of your own. maybe it's time to instead of being sad about the people who have passed (which I so get) maybe celebrate their life instead. Do something that reminds you of them... But instead of in a sad way, makes you laugh and smile. maybe it's time to isntead of putting old ideas of the holiday's into mind... Find a way to celebrate them in way that is all about you. My BF and her daughter go the movies every xmas day. It's a day all about the 2 of them. You could do something similar with you and you're huney. Make it day just about you 2. Go bike riding together, take a hike, see a movie. Have a picnic dinner some where (since it's cheaper than eating out). Plan a day away from those who make you feel bad about your self. You deserve to take care of you and do things that make you happy. :)
    Either way, I'm glad you're still out there moving and do what you can for you. :) Keep your head high and remember... you are pretty fantastic. :)

  3. You know, I enjoy Christmas much more since getting married and having kids. Keep your head up Becca! You can get through this. *hug*