Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I'm hatting life right now...
This shitty weather is bringing me down. I haven't done anything since Monday, we walked in the gloomy cold 4 miles. It was refreshing, but i am not getting out there in the wind and rain, just to end up sick later on. So why is it that I love to get my ass up and do things to be active when the weather is nice and even when its fair, but god forbid I do anything when fall/winter comes. I have been doing a great job eating and staying green but yet I have gained 4 pounds since last Friday How is that even possible when I have not gone over my calories or even came close to it? I guess if you sit around and stress about not doing anything you can pack on the pounds. I don't get it I have so much crap around here to workout with, Elliptical, stationary bike, a Ab works thingy by Nordic track, yoga mat, stability ball, weights but I don't do shit. How is it that I have the Determination and the drive to get out and bike ride or to walk my but off and just be active when its nice, but if it isn't then I am lazy? I keep telling myself that If I can just get myself to do some strengthening and core exercises that my metabolism will kick up and I will burn more, but do I listen and do anything about it no... So what makes now so different then 2-3 months ago? I always get so down and lazy in the colder months and it sucks, I don't want that to happen now because I can easily see myself putting back on that 120 pounds I have lost*sigh* Ugh and I have no support at home, I can't do anything and I want to join a Gym more than anything but can't afford it and it hurts, I would so go everyday (not like I have anything better to do) but also the fact that my parents wouldn't let me use their car to go gets in the way (also why I can't get out and do other things like walk the mall or do constructive things. I would also love to talk with a trainer to learn how I can get rid of this nasty hanging flab/skin on my back, it is smaller but its gotten worse and hangs more and there are more rolls then when I was 300 pounds and I just don't get it, Everyone said that once I lost weight it would get better, but its only gotten worse. I feel like crap and I am lazy and it is cold and boring and gloomy and lonely... I am so hatting life right now!!
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Just remember, in that pool of horse manure they call life, there is a beautiful pony.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. Sometimes in our darkest moments we learn the most important things about ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHi Becca, just hang in there! I know it is hard when the weather gets gloomy, but we have to find ways around it. It is so hard to push ourselves towards that which will help us mentally (physical activity), but it is essential. I go through similar things. I'd like to say I'd lace up and go jogging outside if I didn't have a gym membership, but I'm not sure I would. I tell myself I'd do it, because there was no other choice, but I don't know. I always feel better afterwards though. Just keep your eyes on the prize! You do feel better it's just your chemicals are clouding this right now. I'll keep you in my prayers. If you lived closer I'd offer to be your walking partner. :o) We could be virtual walking partners if you want? I can make a commitement to you to get out there, on the pavement, two days a week and we can check in with each other. I have wanted to challenge myself with this anyhow and this is the perfect opportunity. Let me know what you think!
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to go back to 300 lbs. Maybe you could remember what it felt/looked like. Do you have any old pictures? Maybe you could put it on the fridge. And you could babysit to get some money. Then maybe you could pick up some tapes to do at home. Don't slide backward. I am cheering for you from Colorado.
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