I am sitting here on this cold morning with my clean breakfast and a cup of coffee :). Remembering why I feel in love with real whole food (because it loves me back). With the eating more calories I have felt better, mentally and Psychically and with the continued working out at the gym I can see my body changing as well. Since I got the weight off and been on birth control my periods are like clock work and I can now attribute the 2 weeks before I start when I am moody and depressed and eat everything in site to hormones. I guess that everyone is different because I always thought it was the week before you started that you get the weird PMS crap.
So I am feeling a ton better about life and my place in it. I am so glad that I now have the help I need for my mental health and the support of my love Anthony. I have the tools to help me with my weight loss and to live and be healthy and active. Starting my business also helped me feel like I was contributing to society for once in my life. After having my Interview at Macy's I never thought i would ever put myself out there. I have learned that life isn't worth living if you let fear take the wheel and steer. Now if I could just really let go of all of the past, and stop thinking that everyone sees me the way I feel about myself then maybe it would make things easier. I am working on these things yet finding it hard with social media and blogging. It is that whole approval thing and feeling like the things I have to say are important and no one ever seems to pay much attention. Then the other part of me, goes back to read and most of my posts are all the same thing over and over again. My life can be really boring but I don't know what it would be like without things like Facebook to stay connected with those that do care and my blog. I noticed I lost 3 or 4 followers and I'm not going to lie it bothered me but I realized that it doesn't matter and that maybe its because I feel I suck with words and so I hardly comment on other's blogs or participate in things on here. There goes my brain working overtime, over thinking and over analyzing everything LOL.