why is it so hard?

Why is it so hard to get back on track when u haven fallen so far? I have so many thoughts and ideas and goals floating in my head, but I cannot find the motivation to follow through with any of them. This is harder than when I first started and all I want to do right now is eat more chocolate and chips and eggs from easter...

Goals, thoughts and updates :) oh my...

Wow a what a couple of weeks it has been, so busy that I forgot to pay my CC bill and we somehow Forgot to pay the cell phone bill too. It stressed me out so bad yesterday I started throwing things out of the File cabinet trying to find the bill to see if it had said paid on it. When I relaxed finally I was like "what the hell came over me" very scary I thought I was going to have an anurism or stroke. I am taking better care of myself all around and I feel good. I am back on my BP meds and the headaches and chest pains are going away. I am taking celexa now for my depression and I don't care for the side effects but it takes 6-8 weeks to show results. I sure hope the good outweigh the bad. I got my tooth filled and it was fine for the first 2 days then BAMN the pain hit me like a ton of bricks and i was taking so many narcotics I was sick as a dog and nauses all day. It has been about a week and it is doing better, and i can eat soft foods on it, but cold and Brushing hurt like hell. It also aches if I have soda or an energy drink, guess that is more of a reason to stay away from them both. Having a low carb energy drink once in a while wont hurt and It is a hard habbit to break, as I can esily stay away from the soda. Working on me from the inside out has been hard and stressfull but the results are so worth it. I may actually be able to stick to eating right and working out this time.