Anyone have a Cure for Extremely Dry/Cracked Lips?

Still here, still trudging along slowly. Have not lost any weight lately, thinking I may have gained a pound or 2. But for right now I am just trying to get my juju/motivation back. The eating has never been a problem to get into check but the exercise is a whole other monster. With my honey now working and riding his bike 2 and from work and having a physically demanding job I feel like I need to step up my game and get going. Before I know it he will surpass me and I will be like whoa what happened LOL. Life at home is still crappy my parents are getting worse and I am trying to stop the binge drinking to cope and get productive with handling my stress. All in due time, been drinking nothing but water and staying on a clean eating plan. Was going to work out this morning but got caught up in doing stuff around the house. I'm tired of making excuses I just need to get my but off this computer and do it!!

Anyone have any remedies or cures for extremely dry and cracked lips? I have tried every chap stick/balm out there and nothing helps :( they bleed and just look like crap

Somewhat back on track and it feels good!

I am getting back on track I think, for the most part. It has been hard to fight off the false feelings of being hungry and wanting to eat junk. Went for a bike ride to the farmers market and it felt good. Despite not having money I did scrounge up some to get a few things, tho they seem to be costing more and more whenever we go. I wish that I could find out if they have a Food stamp program or vouchers for those that have an EBT card. I feel good, I have been drinking a ton of water and am hoping the RUM is out of my liver and bloodstream. My honey starts work soon, on some levels I cannot wait but on others I am terrified as we have been together 24/7 for the last 2 years it is definitely going to take some getting used to that is for sure. I have a plan lets just hope that I can stick to it. I will get up and make breakfast, clean the kitchen and do dishes, then workout. Drink a ton of water and try and do things around the house to keep myself busy and off of FB apps like farm town and farm ville lol. It is amazing how much better I feel now that I have been eating right and moving, i don't get why I still eat the crap when I know it makes me feel like crapola! My mom keeps bringing it into the house, no matter what I tell her and it still pisses me off, I have asked her nicely and still she does it, If I throw it out she will throw a fit because I am waisting her money that she doesn't have... then why buy the crap in the first place?

August will be 2 years on my Journey...

OK Did I lose my readers or what? I realize that it has been a long time since I have posted, but my last 2 posts seem to have gone unread by my readers... I still have 120 followers, the same as I did before I took a break. Well today is the day that I am taking a stand and getting my but back on track and get with it for ME! I am still not using the NM website anymore, but that's another post for another time. Wish me luck as I get back into a strong routine and eat right and move more and continue on this Journey!

Good News and the happening

So things have been all fukered up on my end. Too much rum, energy drink, soda and snyders pretzel pieces. I have gained 2 pounds which really isnt too much, but my clothes are tight (fat clothes at that, the 16's) But on a good note my honey has found a job, working at Macy's in the womens dept!!! So now I have to compete with upper class SEXY skinny Women with Money! I guess I still have Issues of self worth and all that to work on, I am only human. Maybe it is the motivation I need to kick my butt into gear... One question tho, Should I be worried?

I'm sick and I suck at getting back on track!!

I have yet to get back on track... I suck for sure, now im on my period and I am sick with what im hopeing is only a mild sinus infection... all i want to do is sleep and eat... ughhh if it isnt one thing it is another with me. Leave it to me to get sick in summer lol...

wow what a crazy week it has been!!!!

I have not blogged in forever it seems, as life has been something else as of late. I have a friend from my childhood that is visiting and we have been doing so much! We went to sizzler last Saturday and I did really bad, I got the grilled hibachi chicken with no sauce and a plain baked potato, but I went crazy at the salad bar and had a soft serve Ice cream cone. We shopped for about 10 hours or more in total from Saturday till today, got some cool stuff at the thrift store and got to spend some time taking pictures in old sac at night that came out great. We had Deny's that night and split the $2 hush puppy and vanilla ice cream Sunday between the 3 of us and that was bad in itself, tho we shopped and walked around for 6 hours just that day alone. We did really bad and stopped at BK and had a burger and fries off the value menu... blah we have not had any fast food in 2 years, it was nasty and I was still freaking hungry afterwards. Today we has leatherby's ice cream and I really didn't like it and was not impressed, I prefer frozen soft serve yogurt, tastes better and is so much healthier too. My friend is leaving tomorrow am and this was the last hurrah for us until the next time she visits... I am sad, because we have had a blast, but on the other hand I am kinda glad to be able to get back on track.
So not looking forward to tomorrows weigh in :( I know i have been so off track, I didn't even really log my foods or worry about what and how much I was eating *sigh* I guess to be honest it was the first time in a long time were I felt like an adult with freedom and less stress to worry about crap. I had a great time and I am not going to beat myself up about any of it at all!!

Deep down I don't feel I deserve to be happy...

I did pretty well on Monday despite the Bud Ice and pretzels, which I had the calories for. Been back on track for the most part this week as eating has been good and we did 11 miles on the bike on Tuesday and 1o on Wednesday. Went to the farmers market today and walked around Old Sacramento for about 2 hours total. It feels good to get moving and eat right again, but I feel like I could be doing more. I still cannot stick with working out no matter how hard I try, I don't know if it is just not something I enjoy and get bored with quick, or if its because I don't like to work out alone and the SO wont get off his but and work out with me... I know it pays off because I have seem results with just a couple of weeks being diligent and working out all but 1 day. You would think that seeing those results would have pushed me to continue or to start up again. I just cannot find my motivation to do it.

Allot of people can see themselves being fit and at there goal weight, not me I have trouble seeing myself anything other than fat and flabby. I have tried and failed and sometimes I feel like that is part of what is holding me back, that and I still deep down inside do not believe I deserve to be happy and skinny. I want to be healthy and get off these BP, and acid reflux medicines, and have a banging body to boot. Its getting there that it tough on me, I just don't have the support or motivation. I love Jillian Micheals and the way she yells at people, because she believes in them and she knows that they are capable of pushing themselves. I need someone like that to push me, because I am not going anywhere by myself lol...

Someone Kick me in the ass, or light a fire under it!!

So the weather has been really bi-polar here in Sacramento for the last couple of weeks. With that came stress of not being able to get out and walk and bike, which in turn caused me to become Depressed. Then Of course my TOM was in the works and that did not make it any easier. Also in that time I have come to the realization that the people I thought were my friends are only there when they want something from me. Therefore I have no real friends and that comes the thought of not being able to hang out and have BB Q's in the summer and OHHHH the Loneliness :(... This is too much to handle all at once, so I decided that eating, sleeping and Drinking would help me get through all the emotions that were brewing in me. Yeah drinking Rum and soda or energy drinks every day isn't very helpful. Yesterday was bad, I had A family size bag of jalapeno popper Doritos to myself, 3 doughnuts for breakfast, 4 ounces of lunch meat on my sandwich and for dinner 5 pieces of pizza and 3 crazy breads with lots of sauce. Now I know it could have been worse and I know i made these choices and I am OK with them, but did they help? Not in the least! I am surprised that I woke up in a better mood today with a bit of energy and clean eats to start the day. A afternoon walk that started with some douche yelling out his car "walk fat ass, Walk!!" I was like WTF, then I flipped him off and told him to come say it to my face and called him a Motherfucker!! I was pissed because for one, I have not ever had anyone do that to me since I was a teen. Second I know I'm still fat at 177 pounds and only 5'1 but I don't need some stranger reminding me of that. Yeah I am up from 173 but I am aware and I know now that the weather is improving I will be too!! Happy Friday everyone

Eating right and still struggling, and more Tattoo pictures LOL

I have been back into my eating right and moving since Monday and I am still hungry all the time. I don't know whats going on, other than I am allowed 1228-1400 calories depending on how much I exercise to lose 1 pound a week. I decided to go back on maintenance again so I can have more calories and see if it helps. The only other thing I can think of is that I'm a week away from starting my period. I have noticed that once a month I go up a few pounds and then right back down again. Anyone else have that problem? I am sure it is because of the dreaded woman monthly and I guess that I should not let it bother me 0r get me down because it happens and there is nothing I can do about it, besides I go back down anyways. My new tattoo is healing nicely, but the last one I got is having issues. My girl didn't go in that deep but was having problems with her gun and the colored ink she was using. I wanted her to finish it so that i can share it but she said it wasn't healed enough for her liking. It has been 2 weeks now, so I am hoping by the end of the month I can have it finished.

Here it is when she first did it :

And this is it now:

I got a new Tattoo

Just wanted to share my newest tatt I got it today and I am so in love with it!!!