Title's suck

This is so random and not really weight loss related but...
I have the hardest time coming up with a title to my posts, anyone else have that problem?
I feel like if the title sucks and doesn't jump out no one will be interested lol...

An unrelated note, weighed myself this morning, 182.5 wow that's insane yesterday i weighed 185.5 that's 3 pounds. I am going to say that it was from all the sodium laden foods and stress. I did so well yesterday with eating, my log was all green, didn't work out but I am going to restart my 30 day shred and this time I making a promise to myself that I am going to stick with it! Happy Monday everyone!!

up 5 1/2 pounds and only myself to blame!

Ive been super bad, gained 5 1/2 pounds back and I am dissapointed in myself. Today I am getting back on track and this time I am staying there. no more excuses and no more crappy eating, all the bad food is going in the garbage and i don't care who gets mad, we dont need that shit hanging around here.

My Journey may be coming to an end

Things have somewhat slowed down around here, my mom is on vacation. it has been stressful and I haven't got back on track yet and I have been debating whether or not I am even going to bother. You see I realized last night that my family doesn't respect my decisions and choices, and therefore everything is always stressful for me and we always end up arguing. When me and my mom go grocery shopping, ever single time we end up yelling at each other and mad, because she wants me to buy junk, and crap I will not eat. I try to be nice about it and buy a few things for her and my dad that they will enjoy because the fact of the matter is that I live here free. But still it just stress all the time, when it comes to dinner my mom wants to eat crap that she knows that I wont eat, yet she wont accommodate for me, I am expected to just eat it, just like when we go out it is always stress because I always have to make the choice of where to go and it is a headache especially when My family is there and they say just eat whatever it is not going to kill you. While my mom is on vacation I asked her what she wanted to take out so I can cook, because we have been eating crap since Thursday, she has not answered me or taken anything out. You see at first it was great there was no stress and my family was happy that I was doing things for me, now it is a whole other tune. I am not getting the support I need from the site I have been using since before the Journal room started, I go unnoticed when I need support and advice and it hurts because I was there before it was even a journal room. All this stress just doesn't seem worth it to me anymore. I cannot talk to anyone because they do not listen and it blows up into everyone ganging up on me and right now I cannot take that...

Life Threw me too many Curve balls at once this past week/weekend.

So life threw me some huge curve balls this past end of the week/weekend. My uncle has been in the hospital for awhile and we just found out. He had a blood clot in his leg and it was cutting the circulation to his foot off. They went in 2 weeks or so ago and removed the blood clot, then opened him back up a day later to try and save his foot as it had developed gangrene. That did not work so he had to have his leg amputated Yesterday. He is my moms twin brother too and my aunt (their sister) came to stay with us since Thursday as she lives out of town... Lots of crappy eating, too much junk, eating out and tons of Stress. I didn't want to add to the stress everyone was already under by saying NO we cant do this and no i wont eat that... I made some very poor choices and it will show on my food logs over at NM. I haven't exercised I haven't slept right I am mentally and physically exhausted. Not to mention in and out of the hospital with all the sick people, he has a Staph infection and the lady in the room next to him has H1N1 and the hole place was quarantined... I slept for 13 hours and I have not done that in 2 years.They say for now he is OK and that they think they got the Gangrene infection and hopefully wont have to take anymore of his leg. My aunt has gone home and I am hoping that things get back to normal. I am not going to beet myself up I know I did bad, real bad but I could have done worse, and for dinner tonight I guesstimated the piece of Tirimasu we bought at Savemart and used one from a restaurant... I hope I didn't consume 1000 calories on 1 small slice of cake, oh well life goes on. Weighed myself this morning to see how much damage I did 182 so I am up 2 pounds, I cannot seem to break 180 been floating around there for about 2-3 months and it sucks. Hope that everyone had a better weekend!

I have lost 46.5 Inches off my Body!!!

I just did the math and all together I have lost a total of 46.5 inches from my body! 14.5 off my chest, 12.5 off my waist, 11.5 off hips, 4 off biceps and 4 off thighs. Wow that is amazing to me, and this week of my 30 day shred has shown dramatic results for me, I cannot stop looking at how much my tummy has shrunk. I am posting some pictures below to compare to the old ones I took before. Tonight started out rather crappy but ended well as I made a good choice when I was going through to many emotions...

This one is for Jen B...

Couldnt help myself!!

What a fly by weekend *sheesh*

Wow this weekend went by so fast, I just cannot get over the fact that it is almost 2010. They say when you get older times flies but this is unreal. I did day 6 of the 30 day shred tonight and I feel accomplished. I have 4 more days of level 1 and then I am moving on to level 2 for 10 more days. I hope that I can keep up I know that it will be harder. This weekend was good food wise and I did work everyday, even got about 4 hours worth of shopping (walking) in. I am looking forward to thanksgiving in some ways and others I am not tho I am not going to let it bring me down. I have plans for the day eating wise so that I don't get hungry and go overboard. I know that i am going to have a little bit of everything traditional, a piece of turkey Breast, small slice of ham, Stuffing, Corn and Yams. I am not one for real mashed potatoes and I don't know why because I love the fake ones lol. I also don't care much for Pie and pastries, tho I do love cheesecake and may have a half a small slice if I have the calories for it. I know there is going to be cheeses and crackers, cookies, veggies, gardeneria, Olives, Salami with cream cheese and pickles, Pickles, pepperoncini, Deviled Eggs,chips, dips and tons of deserts but I am not going to give in. I did great last year and i will do just as good if not better this year because I will be prepared and have the day planed out. Maybe I am making to much of it, I just know that i will be surrounded by all the temptations and I do know better so there shouldn't be any problems...

TGIF

So TOM decided to pay me a visit yesterday, which would explain why I have been on a eating rampage. I decided to take my break from the 30 day shred last night instead of Sunday so i will just swap days. I am not going to let this defeat me I will press on. Usually I start to get really mopey and depressed the week or two before I start but not this time it just came on sudden and now I am kinda feeling it. Today will be a better day eating wise I will not eat anything after 7pm even if I think I feel hungry lol. I am making homemade vegetable and chicken stock today it will be my first time, but it seems relatively simple, just let the stuff boil and simmer all day then strain it, skim the fat and freeze for use in soups for later in the season. I just hope it comes out good, at least I know what i am putting in it and it will have so much better flavor without all that salt and other preservatives they use. Well that is all for today I am glad that it is Friday and I am hoping to have a good weekend and wishing everyone the same!

Super Moist Pumpkin Bread Recipe

1 3/4 Cup Unbleached Flour
1 3/4 cup Wheat flour
2 cups packed brown sugar
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup splenda
2 cups pumpkin puree
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2/3 cup light coconut milk
2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
2 tsp ground Cinnamon
1 cup toasted walnuts, chopped



Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour two 8x4 inch loaf pans.

In a large bowl combine all ingredients and Mix until all of the flour is gone. Fold in the nuts then Pour batter into the prepared pans.

Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 1 hour and or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from oven and cover loaves with foil tightly. Allow to steam for 10 minutes. Remove foil and turn out onto a cooling rack. Tent lightly

Today

I did day 1 of my 30 day shred last night and it rocked my socks. I noticed this time around that it was easier for me to do some of the moves then the last time I tried it. I was sweating profusely and it just felt so good and I was so energized from it. I also slept really good and I woke up feeling amazing, I cannot wait to do it again tonight. Today has been busy, busy I got up and had breakfast then went to do some grocery shopping in which I saved 42 dollars with savings from sale items and 3 coupons 1 was $1 off 2 Big ol boxes of Total, and the other 2 were $2 off Foster Farms Turkey Tenderloins. I did really well this shopping trip and I still have 103 dollars left to get more food. When I got home I started baking, made my Healthy version of pumpkin bread I got 4 loaves out of a 1lb can of Pumpkin. Did not get a break in between had to clean the kitchen, do dishes and get dinner prepared. I am finally getting a chance to sit down and relax for a bit until BL comes on and then its Workout time when its over. Today was a great productive day and I feel really good about things at this point and I hope it continues this way!

Its so cold...

It is so cooooolddd here in my house and it sucks I don't like being cold. I didnt get much excersise in yesterday because my legs were so sore and I didn't want to push myself too much and pay for it later. Tried to go for a bike ride and that didnt go so well got a 1/2 mile in lol. Did some walking around the grocery store and took the doggie for a walk last night in the dark in the cold ass weather. It felt good to walk a mile in 6 minutes. You can tell its cold when it only takes you 5-6 minutes to walk a mile. My eating was ok, went over my calories but it wasnt bad food and I didnt binge. I was so hungry at like 11 pm but I knew I didnt have any calories left and it was way to late to be eating anyways. Ive been thinking about starting up doing my 30 day shred again Im still nervous it will give me another month of knee pain, but Im still thinking of giving it another try. The weather has been really nice for it being November, but I know it will start to get ugly so I am trying to think of ways to get myself going, im such a procrastinator tho and still cannot figure out why...It is always that I start doing my videos for a day or two then I dont do them and feel guilty, I dont know why i am so lazy, its not like I dont have time and most of my days are way boring with nothing to do.

Back to where I started

Well I am basically back to where I started number wise before my set back on halloween weekend...181.5 lets just hope that this time the number goes down instead of up. I have been thinking alot and going over things over and over again and it looks like I may have not been eating enough calories I see that alot of times i am under 1200 and I just dont think that is enough for me to get in all my nutrition and stay away from starvation mode... Im thinking that is why for the last month and a half I just could not break away from the 180's so i am going to try and get in my alloted calories and see if it helps. I know that I should be getting more than 250-300 calories for breakfast and that is what might be hurting me I usually have a half cup of total cereal mixed with another half cup of something like fiber one or cheerios and a half banana and half cup of fat free milk and that is usually only around 220 calories if I am lucky. Then I find myself hungry 30 minutes later and I also think I need to get more protien. We dont have a whole lot of food left and I dont get my SNAP until the 10th of the month, last month my mom wouldnt let me go grocery shopping so i ended up spending my 200$ on things throughout the week that went too fast. This month I am going shopping and I already have my list of good stuff I want to have on hand for breakfasts and lunches. I also think all the lunch meet and cheese I eat for lunch is killing my sodium and that sucks... I hate having 400 calories left over to eat and my sodium being right at 2297... that means I cannot eat anything else or my sodium will be in red...

First blog in 14 days

I have not written a blog post in awhile, mainly because I felt as though no one cares what i write about anymore and it hurt. I went off the wagon yet again and this time it was only 3 days and I gained back 5 pounds again... This time of year is always so bad for me and it seems worse this year than any and I am using any excuse to not workout and to eat all the leftover junk from Halloween. I am actually doing better i let myself have 1 piece of candy a day and we have gone for a bike ride 2 days in a row, 4 miles one time and 11 1/2 the second time, today was 8 1/2 miles because my legs were on fire and so sore I just couldn't make it any farther. Im trying to get and stay back on track for good this time. I know that life is always going to throw something at me and right now I am very stressed out and I know it is all about how I deal with the stress and other things that are thrown at me, I just sometimes wish I could take the time to deal with what I am feeling instead of eating crap that at the time feels like I am filling a void. And why do I feel like i need to fill a void, what is going on that I feel this way...